‘And don’t mind if she seems a wee bit fearsome; so would you be if you owned half the properties in town and had to cram feet like that into three hundred quid Louboutins every day. Toes like plaited pastry, that one. And you live alone, don’t you? Didn’t move up here with… anyone special?’
Alice felt intuitively that making eye contact would only greenlight more of Gracie’s prying. She moved the mouse cursor around the screen. ‘I live alone, yeah. Are these all my appointments?’ she tried, hoping to divert the woman away from the topic of her living arrangements.
‘Just the six patients. To break you in.’
Six still seemed an awful lot for a first day, even though Alice had worked in A&E and could triage and admit that many people in an hour.
‘I might also have to send your way any emergency appointments that crop up as the morning goes on. And there’s a meeting at half five you have to go to, about the social prescribing project? Dr Millen mentioned it in your interview?’
Alice shook her head. She hadn’t heard a thing about any project.
‘Ach, he’ll fill you in about it soon enough. And I’ve put together some notes about your stroke clinic,’ Gracie added briskly. ‘You’ll need to read them in advance. That’s on the second Tuesday of the month. Three o’clock.’
‘I’m in charge of that?’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘All right.’ The beating in her chest now seemed amplified in her ears but Alice smiled through it.
‘If you need anything in clinic, ask Dr Millen. He’s your supervisor and won’t mind being called in for second opinions or to run something by him. Just ring through to his room.’ Gracie pointed a stiletto nail in a fiery orange gel finish at the number two button on the desk phone’s keypad. ‘Or you could just knock on the wall.’ Gracie didn’t laugh so Alice wasn’t sure if this was really a joke. ‘Did you bring your lunch?’
Alice felt herself at risk of conversational whiplash. ‘Just brought a salad. I had to ring the deli to have them bring me some shopping and…’ She faltered to a stop, unsure why she hadn’t just said yes.
‘The staff fridge is under my desk in reception.’ Gracie had her hand out. Alice surrendered her bento box to her.
‘Laura’s deli, was it? That one’s a devil for other women’s boyfriends. Keep an eye on her if you’re ever winchin’ a local lad.’ This was said with absolute matter-of-fact seriousness, and as if she’d know what ‘winchin’ even meant. ‘She isn’t registered here, mind. Goes to some surgery in another town. Skerrybridge, I think. No idea why, when we’re so conveniently on her doorstep.’
Alice had an inkling why Laura (who’d seemed perfectly nice when she’d arrived at her flat with her bike basket filled with her fresh fruit and veg) might prefer a surgery where she could be safe from gossip, but she didn’t say as much. Gracie was pressing on with her orientation anyway.
‘Your first patient’s at half nine, as you can see. Ten minutes each. You know the drill. You’ll see their appointment notes here.’ Gracie tapped the computer screen, indicating the first patient. Alice clicked the mouse and some words appeared.
Itchy rash on underboob area and upper back since three weeks, tested allergic to cocoa eight years ago but that hasn’t stopped her wolfing the chocolate buttons!!
‘These are your notes?’ Alice asked, a little queasy at the intrusion. She imagined they were all like that.
There was something preening and proud in Gracie’s look. ‘If I happen to have helpful intel, I’ll add it to your appointment notes, since you don’t know the locals.’
‘I’m not sure that’s entirely…’
‘Practice Nurse comes in on Fridays and Saturday mornings.’
Gracie was turning to leave, carrying Alice’s lunch away with her, only stopping at the doorway to add, ‘And Pigeon Fergus is your ten o’clock. He’s to sit on paper at all times, even in the waiting room. I’ll bring in the vacuum cleaner when he leaves.’
‘Uh… Sorry?’
‘Pigeon fancier,’ Gracie said as though the rest should be obvious to Alice. It wasn’t. ‘Mites. It’s all in my appointment notes.’
‘Ah, OK. Got it.’ Alice had already made a mental note to tell this woman absolutely nothing about herself from now on.
‘And your ten past eleven, Mrs McAlpine, will try smuggling that chihuahua in in her handbag, but don’t you mind about that. I’ll make sure to head her and her dog off at the reception doors. Her precious wee Bo-Jangles is to stay tied to the bike racks outside.’
‘Right.’ Alice tapped a finger to her fringe, throwing her a goodbye salute, wishing she could be alone again with her sinking feelings. ‘Thank you.’
Gracie was pulling the door closed, announcing to a waiting room growing with chatter, ‘The new doctor will be ready for you soon. Mind it’s onlyonemedical issue per appointment. No sneaking in any acne or dry scalp problems, just because she’s new. I’m looking at you, Niall McNeil!’
The door sealed closed.
Left alone at her desk, Alice sat back and blew out a long breath. What kind of a place had she come to?
