‘Not that I’d have any right to any kind of opinion about that.’
‘Is Bastian why you’ve been away for so long?’
He shook his head as though not understanding. ‘Oh, no, well, only partially. I went to see Mum. She was moving into sheltered accommodation and I decided to go and help. And yes, it was prompted by your boyfriend coming to get you, but there was also a lot of things of Mum’s to pack and to sort through. It was a lot of work, moving her from a big house into a small one.’
‘Oh!’ Alice dropped her heels to the floor. She hadn’t realised she’d been on the balls of her feet until now. ‘Is she OK? Your mum?’
‘She is, thanks.’
‘And that was why you were gone for so long, without telling anyone?’Without telling me, she thought.
‘I needed to get away from it all, to clear my head for a while. Sometimes even I need to get away, to think. I’m not as self-contained as folks might think, just because I’m quieter than most. And this place can get on a person’s wick, with all its gossiping and never being able to get away from folk.’
‘You wanted to get away from me.’
‘I needed some time not seeing you, and I wasn’t that keen on seeing you with him. It’s true. Sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise.’ Alice thought of all the noise Bastian had made, coming into town that night, thinking himself a knight in shining armour, all the disruption he’d caused.
A silence bloomed between them. The shed grew warmer.
‘So you’re seeing a counsellor?’ he said at last. ‘I’m glad for you, but I shouldn’t have interfered like that.’
‘No, no, I’m glad you did. It was the push I needed. And you going away showed me I had to rely on myself, first and foremost, but I also had to learn to ask for help, and to say out loud when I was struggling… So that’s what I’ve been doing.’
‘And?’
‘And it’s been great, and hard, and scary, and there’s a long way to go but… overall it’s been good.’
Alice didn’t tell him how she and Bonnie had been working on separating out her anxiety, which kickstarted her frightening visions and catastrophising, from her good dreams, the ones that pointed her in the direction of the things she needed. Things like a home and a community and her work, and Cary, if he’d ever have her.
‘It took me a few goes to find the right counsellor for me, the right fit,’ Cary said.
‘Me and Bonnie just clicked.’ Alice beamed.
Cary smiled back before asking, ‘Are we friends again?’
‘Should we get back out to the garden?’ she asked, not knowing how to reply to that.
Cary crooked his arm, and she looped her hand through it, and they walked out into the darkening February afternoon just as the floodlight was coming on, drenching the whole place in a golden glow like a summer’s day.
44
All the potatoes and herbs were in the ground now, and it was time for a celebratory mug of tea. Murray was about to take his parents aside to show them the congratulatory email that had just come from his boss in Switzerland, now that she had his signed contracts on her desk. There’d be the small matter of telling his sister, Ally, that he’d be seeing her soon too, albeit briefly, over there.
He didn’t want to think about what all this meant for his nursing of a certain mountain man back to full health, and he wondered if he could wait until tomorrow to go racing back up there to the cruive to find out.
As he was approaching his parents, a woman made her way up to Murray, tapping him on the elbow.
‘Kellie, right?’ he asked her.
‘That’s right,’ she said, a little awkwardly. ‘There was something I wanted to ask you, and I’m not sure how you’re going to feel about it.’
Her mum and dad had come to stand on either side of their daughter and Murray listened as she explained how much she’d enjoyed the garden project, and it wasn’t that she was ungrateful or anything, but the thing she’d look forward to most about her visits was the chance to see the puppies again, and in particular one of the pups, the smallest.
‘You want to adopt her?’ Murray said, not quite sure how to feel.
‘We’ve seen the improvement in her, day by day, just from being around Poppet,’ her father said.
