Before she could think better of it, she clambered awkwardly into his lap. When he shifted, clearly startled, she had to make a grab for his broad shoulders.
“What are you doing, daft girl?” he said, clamping his arms around her waist. Even though he didn’t seem inclined to push her off, he scowled at her. “I already told you—I don’t need your pity.”
“This isn’t pity.”
“Then what is it?”
“I’m offering comfort, you thick-headed, stubborn Highlander.”
He scoffed. “I’m not one of your pupils, Miss Knight. I don’t need you to pet me or jolly me out of my doldrums.”
“No, but I do think you stand in need of a lecture.”
“And you will deliver one, whether I wish it or not,” he said, one corner of his mouth lifting in a reluctant smile.
Still, sadness lurked in his gaze. She sensed how easy it would be for him to again retreat behind a somber façade. Arnprior had seemed much happier these last few weeks, despite Logan’s reappearance and the opening of old wounds. Victoria couldn’t bear the idea that her handsome laird would again let grief and guilt darken his spirits.
She leaned in and kissed him on the tip of his nose, as he’d done to her a number of times over the last few weeks. When that gesture pulled up the other corner of his mouth in a full smile, it gave her the courage to proceed.
“Lord Arnprior, let me just note that you are the kindest, most principled, and most decent man I have ever met.”
“That’s not much of a lecture,” he said, moving one hand to caress along her spine.
Victoria had to force herself to concentrate instead of lean into his strong hand. “That was just the introduction, sir. In addition to my prior comment, you are also stubborn, arrogant, and prone to an exaggerated sense of responsibility. I understand completely how difficult life has been for you and your family, and you have personally suffered more than any man should. But the tragedies that befell you were not your fault. You did the best you could to love and care for your entire family, and no rational person could ask more from you than that.”
His hand came to rest between her shoulder blades. “Icould have asked more of myself.”
She poked him in the cravat. “What you must accept is that life can be messy, irrational, and horribly sad. Some things and people are simply out of our control, no matter how hard we try to manage them. It serves no purpose to waste energy in questioning every action you may or may not have taken. Such unending reassessment simply weighs you down and keeps you from appreciating the gifts that life has granted you, here and now.”
Ironically, Victoria realized she needed to apply the same lesson to herself. For weeks, she’d partly blamed herself for the debacle with Thomas Fletcher, for not being smarter or more careful. But the fault lay entirely with her attacker, and to continue to blame herself stood in the way of her own peace of mind.
Arnprior adopted an expression of polite interest. “That was an excellent lecture, Miss Knight. No wonder you’re a governess.”
“I apologize if I overstepped my boundaries, sir.”
“I’m teasing. You could never overstep with me. Your words are both kind and wise, and I will do my best to take them to heart.” He gave her a wry smile. “And I confess that you’re not the first person to make a similar point.”
“Royal?”
“Indeed, although as a younger brother, I can ignore him in good conscience. You, however, I cannot. After all, you’re going to be my wife.”
When he leaned down to kiss her, she placed a hand on his chest.
“Now what?” he asked with an aggrieved sigh.
“I meant it when I said you were not obliged to marry me.”
“Really? Sir Dominic and your brother would likely say otherwise.”
Suddenly nervous and very aware of the burgeoning erection pressing into her bottom, she fidgeted with his cravat. “Yes, about that. I do think I should have a say in the decision too.”
His hand dropped away from where it had been resting in the curve of her lower back. “I would never force you to do anything you don’t wish to do, Victoria. But your choices are limited. You are a gently bred young woman who was found with a single gentleman in compromising circumstances.”
“I know, but—”
He frowned. “Are you against marriage in general? If that’s the case—”
She patted his chest. “No, it’s not that, although I will miss teaching and spending time with children. It’s probably odd of me to admit it, but I enjoy my work.”
