“Why bother when it’s clear you don’t want to do either?”
His jaw flexes. “I’m capable of putting the good of arcandom before my own personal wants.”
Unspoken is the barbed accusation that I can’t do the same.
I don’t understand why he holds me in such contempt. I really don’t.
“What more would you have me do?”
It’s not as if I can run out there and demand Mathias stop this. Challenge him. I tried to influence the parriarchs, and it went wrong. I’m sheltering all six heirs. I’m advising them as best I can.
Pierce’s mouth opens, then closes. “You’ve had centuries to help, and you didn’t.”
“I had no idea he was even alive!”
“You didn’t care enough to find out. You shut yourself away with your books in your smug little fiefdom and left the rest of us to deal with everything. Until the Arcanaeum was threatened, you didn’t give two shits about what Mathias was up to.”
That argument isn’t logical, but when I try to float away, he’s there, grabbing my arm and forcing me solid. “You could’ve stopped him years ago. All you would’ve needed to do was pull your head out of your ass long enough to pay attention to the world outside of these walls. With all the power at your fingertips, you could’ve rescinded his banishment and crushed him centuries before Jasper ever set foot in that cell.”
We’re chest to chest now, his fingers scorching my wrist where he’s still holding me.
“I didn’t think it was necessary!” I shoot back, all emotional distance cast aside as fury blasts through my veins. “I banished all seven of them minutes after they murdered me on that altar. As far as I was concerned, that was the end of it. I thought he was dead. Blaming me for whatever he’s done since then is irrational.”
Howdarehe insinuate that what happened to Jasper is my fault!
Did he hear my confession to the McKinley heir a few days ago, or is it pure luck that’s allowed him to reach into my soul and drag free the slivers of self-blame that still linger despite Jasper’s reassurances?
Pierce’s grip on me tightens. There’s a whole lot of accusation in his gaze, and I hate that I can guess where it’s coming from. I’m willing to bet his life of privilege hasn’t spared him from Mathias. If anything, as Isidora’s son, he’s probably been witness to many of the horrors the lich has inflicted on others.
The burning need to argue, to defend myself, is smothered by sorrow as a memory of Hopkinson’s lecture floats back to me. Pierce’s father was executed for necromancy. Was Mathias responsible for that? Benny’s comments and Isidora’s strike replay in my mind. Is Pierce blaming me for what happened to Jasper or for what happened to his family?
“I am sorry for everything that you’ve been through,” I whisper. “But I truly didn’t know.”
The air between us seems to thicken, the inches separating us shrinking with each shallow breath.
“And now?” he finally asks. “What are you doing now, besides propositioning arcanists?”
To my absolute horror, his free hand reaches into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and pulls free a copy of that damned contract.
The blood drains from my face. Mortification, sour and scalding, steals my words. I need to say something. To explain that thisisn’tlike that.
Why did the Arcanaeum give it to him, anyway?
Probably because of my own insistence about staying impartial.
“Nothing to say, Librarian?” Pierce says, voice gone silky with smugness.
He taps the corner of the folded document against my sternum, and I blink when I realise there’s…writing on it. My gut flipflops as I snatch it from him, crumpling it in my grip.
“If you hadn’t been given a copy, you would’ve complained of favouritism,” I retort. “But believe me, you have nothing to worry about. I wouldn’t proposition you if you were the last man alive.”
He leans in close, and the scent of his cologne surrounds me in an expensive fog. “Oh, naturally. That’s why it was waiting on my pillow.”
Great. The building couldn’t have left it on his desk or somewhere normal?
“If you hate the idea so much, why sign it?” It’s a wild guess, but it hits home. His jaw ticks once.
His regal shrug undoes me. “Like you said, we can’t let you get away with favouritism.”
