A tiny part of me—atrulytiny part—melts into a puddle.
“Yes, well. I?—”
“Can I kiss you? Properly this time? I want to replace that memory with a good one.”
My heart leaps even as my spine stiffens reflexively. “That isn’t a good idea.”
The tension, which had just started to leave his body, returns with a vengeance as his expression settles into one of obstinate disbelief.
“Why not?”
For too many reasons to name. My annoyingly active heartthuds a little harder in my chest as I force my way out of his embrace.
“There’s no need to complicate things.” I take a deep breath, shaking my head to clear it. “I enjoyed what we shared,” I say, trying to soften the blow. “But I also enjoyed what I did with Jasper.”
We never mentioned anything about exclusivity or agreed to anything more than that one flirtatious moment in the shower, yet I still brace for his reaction.
Lambert merely shrugs. “He loves you too. That’s okay. I get it.”
Love? Who said anything about love? I’m probably reading too far into that one little word. He doesn’t mean it likethat, surely?
Oh, what was I thinking? This is Lambert. He’s a master of casual sex. Of course, he doesn’t expect fidelity when he would never give it in return.
I shake my head. “The point is, we never discussed it being anything more than that one incident. It was a selfish decision on my part. I would never have done it if I thought?—”
“That it could lead somewhere? That we might want you?”
“Oh, Lambert.” I sigh, deflating. “Youdon’twant me. You’re young, and magic knows, you’ve gone through enough women over the last few months that what we did can’t have been anything special. You need to get out there and continue enjoying your life.” Forcing some resolve into my words, I straighten. “And I need to do the same, without drawing the Arcanaeum’s impartiality into question.”
Beyond the novelty of seeing a naked ghost, I’m sure our entire encounter was more meaningful to me than it was to him. Patiently, I wait for him to agree, only to swallow as I take in the determined set of his jaw.
“Enjoying life?” Of course, Lambert hasn’t paid attention to half of what I said.
“You have your magiball and your studies, and I have my own concerns.”
“That’s not what you’re talking about. You think I’ve been fucking other girls.”
Magic. My heart falls even further. “In the last month alone, you’ve entered and left the Arcanaeum with at least a dozen different ladies.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t fuck any of them.”
My fingers twitch, and his library card flashes into being before us. “Lying to the Librarian is against the rules.”
“I’m not lying.” He shifts so we’re on the same step, towering over me, but I refuse to step away. “When do you think I’ve had the time? I’ve been in tutoring with you, or practising magiball, or stuck in lectures listening to the professors drone on.”
His card dissipates as he steps closer, crowding me. “Boss, I swear, I haven’t fucked another woman in months.”
Our breaths mingle. My heart flutters. Stars, I think I’m even leaning into his warmth, just a little.
No. I can’t do this. This is the future parriarch of House Winthrop.
“The point remains. I used you horribly?—”
“Yeah, you did.” His smile returns, soft and a little cocky. “But I’ll let you kiss it better.”
“You deserve a proper apology.” I force as much finality into my tone as I can, dodging under the arm that tries to cage me against the beam at my back. “I’m not sure what I can do to make up for ruining your win the other night, but I’ll do my best. Until then, you should shower and find some clean clothes and then come and eat with us.”
His stare burns into me as I flee down the stairs, the heavy, even creak of his footsteps following a half-second behind.
