He shrugs off his shirt, followed by his sweatpants and his boxer briefs until he’s as naked as I am. His full erect length extends towards me, like it has a mind of its own and knows it belongs between my legs.
Pulling my eyes away from his delicious cock, I get into the shower. He follows close behind, standing as far away from me as he can, his back against the tile wall, arms crossed, face blank. The only evidence of his comfort with the situation is the tightness of his jaw and his hardness.
My eyes trace over my name carved over his heart as I wash myself, lathering up the soap so thoroughly that it’s a thick white layer of suds covering my body. I turn around to rinse off the soap and wash my face, and when I face him again, he’s holding his cock in his tight fist, slowly stroking it from base to tip. He inhales as pleasure twists up his body. I watch him for a second before sinking to my knees.
He stops what he’s doing. “No. Get up.”
I shake my head. “Trust me.”
“It’s not you I don’t trust,” he grits out.
“Keep going. Please,” I beg. Reluctantly, he takes himself in his fist again and pumps as I settle down, resting my butt on my feet, just watching him.
This is how I am choosing to submit to him, in a way that doesn’t require any contact. In a way that makes me feel secure and gives me an easy opportunity to stop if I decide I want to. I nod for him to continue, looking up at him with pleading eyes from under my lashes, keeping my hands resting on my thighs.
I swallow the thick lump in my throat as I watch him pleasure himself, towering over me like the god he is.
“Fuck, angel. You’re so fucking pretty down there.” He leans his head back against the tiles, pumping his fist faster. “I miss watching you take my cock in your mouth. You’re such a good girl when you’re on your knees for me.”
I let out a whimper when that ache begins to form between my legs, but I make no effort to relieve it.
“Fuck, baby, move. I’m going to cum.”
I shake my head, instead opening my mouth and sticking my tongue out as an invitation. His face goes slack with need.
“Please, angel, I can’t wait,” he groans, and when I don’t move, thick white ribbons of cum shoot out of his crown in the space between us. None of it lands on my face, but a few errant strands do land on my chest. Christian goes slack against the tile walls, breathing deeply for a few seconds before meeting my eyes.
“Are you okay?”
I nod. “Yes.”
He makes a motion for me to come to him with his index and middle finger on both hands. “Stand up.”
I make my way to my feet and stare up at him. With his thumb, he very slowly reaches for one of the drops of release on my chest to wipe it away. I nod that it’s okay.
He gathers the drop on his thumb and then lifts his hand to my mouth. I get the idea, sucking on his finger until it’s clean.
“Are you wet, Elena?” he asks. I hesitantly nod. “Do you want me to touch you?”
Sighing, I shake my head. “No.”
He nods. “Good girl. You’re not ready for that.” His hand that was in my mouth tenderly cradles my jaw. “I used to get off on the thought of breaking you, but now it fills me with fear. I have to be gentle with you now. If I break you one more time, I may never find all the pieces again.”
“What if I want you to break me?” I ask, my eyes not leaving his. “What if I don’t want you to be gentle?”
“Then I’ll love you violently instead.”
CHAPTER 37
THE ANGEL
We filter into the kitchen right as my mother finishes breakfast. Everyone else is already gathered, including my father, who already has two fingers of scotch in a glass next to him at the table. I give my mom a look, and she rolls her eyes.
I know that gesture well. It’s the look she gives me when my dad gets into one of his moods. The kind of mood that not even the bright shining star that is my mother can pull him out of. I tell Christian to fix us both a plate of breakfast and I tip-toe towards my dad. He’s looking straight ahead. Directly across from him is a family photo from my law school graduation.
“Dad?” I ask quietly. “Are you okay?”
My dad’s eyes flicker to the rest of the family as if to see how close they are. Like he doesn’t want anyone but me to hear the next thing out of his mouth.
