“Do you love him?” he asked her softly.
She looked at him sharply. “Dear God, no! I thought I did, once. But I was young and stupid and very, very wrong. Rodric MacKay is a persuasive man, Deryn, used to getting what he wants. But he’s dangerous. I think I knew that, somewhere deep down, but I found that thrilling. Now I just find it scary. He said some strange things. Things that I thought were nonsense.”
“What do you mean?”
She looked wary suddenly, as though she’d said more than she intended. “Oh, nothing. It doesn’t matter. How do you know Rodric, anyway? He recognized you when you came back to the castle. What was it he called you? Deryn the Destroyer?”
Deryn winced and quickly looked away. He hated hearing that name, especially from her lips. Memories surfaced. The screaming of the crowd. The flash of weapons. The wild stamp of horses’ hooves.
And a dark-haired woman waving him off.
It was so long ago it could be another lifetime and yet it felt so vivid, so real, that it could have happened yesterday.
“No reason,” he said, his fingers tightening around the mug of coffee.
But the lie echoed through him like the clanging of a bell.Tell her, a voice whispered in the back of his head.Tell her everything.
Oh, how he longed for that. How he wished he could tell her the truth, and in so doing, lift the burden of his past that weighed around his shoulders like some huge, stone medallion. But he couldn’t. He’d carefully walled up everything inside him and that wall had grown so high and so thick that he didn’t know how to scale it.
DERYN HAD CLOSED DOWNagain. As Maddy watched him over the rim of her mug, she saw the shutters come down over his face and the distance grow in his eyes as he turned away from her.
She wanted to reach out and touch him. Her fingers itched with the desire. Maybe if she did, she could recapture the closeness they’d been sharing only a moment ago, that fleeting sense of companionship, of belonging, that made her feel so unexpectedly whole. But the moment was gone, Derynwithdrawing into himself, and she sensed that if she pushed him, he would only draw away further.
What was he keeping from her? Something that bothered him deeply, that much was obvious. Something that meant he always kept a bit of himself back and made the rare occasions where she caught a glimpse of his true self all that more special.
She sighed inwardly and took another sip of her coffee. She would love an Americano right now with a splash of milk and a big spoon of sugar but wanting would get her nowhere. She was learning to be grateful for what she did have. With a start, she realized she’d barely thought of home all day. In fact, she’d barely thought about home in the last few days. She’d been so caught up in the lambing, working with Deryn day and night, that she’d not had time to think about anything other than the task in front of her.
It had been strangely liberating. Back home there was always so much to think about, so much to plan, so many tasks to juggle. But here, her world had been reduced to making sure Rory was looked after and helping Deryn with whatever task required them that day.
Ah, Deryn. Her thoughts kept coming back to him. She studied his profile as she sipped her coffee. He wasn’t looking at her but was watching Rory and Mara with the sheep out in the field. His linen shirt fitted tight against his body and his hair was slightly damp with sweat at the ends, making the auburn color a shade darker.
Did he realize how gorgeous he was? Maddy didn’t think so. He seemed oblivious to the way his easy-going charisma and warmth affected her. There was a self-assurance about him, but it seemed to come more from a confidence of his place in the world than any kind of arrogance. Here, in this wild place, Deryn seemed completely at ease, as though he was a reflection of it, and it was a reflection of him.
And yet there was that pain in him, a core of himself he wouldn’t share.
She mentally shook herself.Stop it, Maddy!It would do no good to keep thinking about her host like this. Okay, he was good-looking. So what? He was kind and warm-hearted. So what? He made her feel things she most definitely shouldn’t. So what? She and Rory were guests in his house and would be going home as soon as she could figure out a way. She had to remember that.
“So, are you a coffee convert?” she asked at last.
He turned to look at her. The smile was back on his face, the sunlight catching his sapphire eyes. “Hmm. I’ll have to let ye know. Are ye a whisky convert yet?”
She pulled a face. “Ugh. Not likely. That stuff is like drinking acid.”
He shook his head with a mock-hurt expression. “And here’s me thinking I’ve been turning ye into a fine Highland farmer. It seems like I have work to do yet.”
“Yep, you sure do. In fact, we both do. I’ll have you loving my coffee by the time I leave, you’ll see.” She reached out to take his empty cup and as he handed it over, her fingers brushed against his. For the briefest of moments, she felt his thumb rub gently over hers. It was barely anything and yet it was electric. It sent a shock right through her and she found herself looking up at him, suddenly unable to look away.
There was...something...in his eyes. She was sure of it. Something that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Something that made her tongue stick to the roof of her mouth and her breathing to become a little more rapid.
Then Mara started barking wildly and they both jumped in shock, turning to face the paddock. Rory was waving frantically at them.
“Mama! Someone’s coming!”
“GET THE BOY AND TAKEhim into the house,” Deryn ordered. “Don’t come out until I tell you to.”
A wild fear pounded through him. Had Rodric MacKay tracked them after all? Had he underestimated the man’s tenacity and put both Madeleine and Rory in danger?
Madeleine’s face went white. Fear flashed across her lovely features. “Rory! Come here now!” She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house, shutting the door behind them.
