“I...I...I need to go pee,” he muttered.
He turned and strode off, disappearing beyond the line of lantern light into the gathering dark.
Maddy stared after him in confusion. She wanted to go after him, wanted to ask what was wrong, but that last look on his face stopped her. The expression there was not one she’d expected to see. Guilt.
Craig squeezed her shoulder. “My apologies, lass,” he said. “I didnae mean aught by that comment.”
“I know you didn’t,” she replied, forcing a smile. “Well, I’d better go and check on the children and make sure they haven’t gotten themselves into too much mischief.”
She hurried away, trying to ignore the confusion in her head and the disappointment in her heart.
As it turned out, Rory, Lily and Sean, had gotten themselves intoplentyof mischief. She found them half-way up an apple tree at the back of Craig and Darla’s cottage with a knotted bit of rope, trying to build a swing. There had clearly been several failed attempts already as all three had twigs in their hair and rips in their clothing. After giving them a half-hearted talking to about the danger of tree-climbing that she was sure they would completely ignore, Maddy called Craig over and the big man was able to reach up and attach the rope for them.
She spent the next half hour or so pushing the three of them—and then a load of the other children once they got wind of it—on the swing, constantly looking around to see if Deryn came back. He didn’t.
Dark began to fall and the festival to gradually wind down. Parents called their tired children to them and began filing out, shouting goodbyes and promises to visit soon.
Darla found her some time later. “Why dinna ye leave Rory with us tonight?” she said. “He must be worn out with all the running around he’s done today and it’s a long walk back to Deryn’s farm.” She cocked her head. “And besides, I think ye and Deryn need some time to talk.”
“Talk?” Maddy replied. “Deryn doesn’t talk, haven’t you noticed? He doesn’t tell me a damned thing about himself.”
“Dinna be too hard on him,” Darla replied. “It isnae easy to learn to give yer heart again when ye thought all chance of that was gone.”
“What do you mean?” Maddy asked. “What happened to Deryn? Why does he live out here alone? And why won’t anyone tell me?”
Darla watched her for a moment. Then she sighed. “Ah, damn the man. He’s gotten so used to keeping his secrets close that he doesnae even realize when it’s destroying his chance at happiness.” She sank onto a log and patted the space beside her.
Maddy folded onto it. She felt edgy and out of sorts and found herself jiggling her ankle with a nervous kind of energy. She wanted to know what Darla had to tell her but she feared it too. What if the truth put Deryn beyond her reach? Could she deal with that?
“Ye remember how I told ye that people come out here to get lost?” Darla said. “Some are running, some are hiding, but all of us have a past that we are trying to escape. Do ye know why Craig and I came out here and brought our children to this wild spot?”
Maddy shook her head.
“Craig killed a man,” Darla continued. “And he would have hanged for it had we not run before the sheriff came.”
Maddy sat back, shocked. Darla looked at her, a wry smile on her face. “I can see yer thoughts written across yer expression, my dear. Ye are trying to reconcile the gentle giant that is the Craig ye know, with a murderer. Would it change yer thinking if I told ye that Craig killed that man in a fight after pulling him off me? The man’s name was Malcolm Turner, a drunk and a thug, and he would have raped me if Craig hadnae come when he did.”
Maddy’s eyes went wide with horror. She grabbed her friend’s hands. “Oh, Darla, I’m so sorry! I had no idea!”
Darla squeezed her hands in return. “It was a long time ago now. I dinna tell this to garner sympathy for either myself or my husband, but only to illustrate that we all have something buried deep inside that shapes who we are and what we do. It is the same for Deryn. Has he told ye who he was before he came to this valley?”
“He told me he was a warrior with the Order of the Osprey.”
Darla snorted softly. “Aye, he was that all right and more besides. Maddy, he was the greatest warrior of his generation. He could have led armies if he’d so chosen. They used to call him Deryn the Destroyer because none could stand against him and he won every contest of arms he entered.”
That was the name that Rodric had called him. Whenever Maddy had tried to ask him about it he’d changed the subject.
“But why would he want to keep that a secret?” she asked, puzzled. “Why would that drive him to come here? To give up everything and become a farmer in this remote valley?”
“Because that life cost him everything,” Darla replied, her voice low. “Including his wife, Lizzie. In his former life, Deryn made many enemies. Some of those enemies found Lizzie whilst he was off on campaign. They killed her. She was expecting their first child at the time.”
Maddy’s mouth dropped open in shock. She felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. Her insides twisted with pain, but not pain for herself, pain for him.Oh, Deryn,she thought.
“He’s always blamed himself,” Darla continued. “So he left the Order of the Osprey and came here. He’s been here ever since.”
Images played through Maddy’s head. In her mind’s eye she imagined Lizzie as a carefree, laughing young woman, beautiful and kind. What must Deryn have been like back then? He must have been happy, content, believing he would spend his life with the woman he loved.
But it was all ripped away from him.
