He turned back to the scene below, expression hardening once more as he watched his father now hunched over with laughter as the children continued to splash water at him. “So, I left, went home, and kept his secret.”
“Why?” Anna asked. “Why would you do that for him?”
“I didnae do it for him,” he replied, his voice hard and bitter. “I did it for my mother, my sister, my uncle. Had the truth come out, the scandal would have ruined my clan and destroyed my mother. Imagine it, the great hero of Clan Mackintosh, thrown into the bishop’s prison for bigamy. TheMacDonalds or the Murrays or any of the others would have taken it as justification to destroy us. And I dinna think my mother or sister would ever have recovered from such a betrayal. Nay, better they think him dead. Better to grieve the loyal husband and doting father rather than be forever broken by the truth.”
“And you’ve told nobody? All this time?”
He shook his head. “How could I? It was my shame to bear.”
“Yourshame?”
“Aye, my shame,” Emeric said, his voice choked and rough. “His secret becamemysecret because I chose silence over truth. I’ve lived with the guilt and the humiliation of it every day since I discovered him here, living this other life.”
Anna watched as Emeric’s shoulders bowed under the weight of his burden. “Emeric,” she said gently, touching his arm. “You were just a boy when you found out about your father’s deception. You did what you thought was right at the time. You put the welfare of your family and your clan before your own anguish and anger. How can you berate yourself for that?”
She didn’t know how he had been strong enough to withstand it. She knew she wouldn’t have been.
“Because Iwasnaestrong enough to bear it,” he said, as though reading her thoughts. “It drove me from Dun Achmore, from my family. In the end, I abandoned them too.”
Anna shook her head, a tangle of emotions welling up inside her—anger, disbelief, sympathy. “That’s not yourfault, Emeric,” she said softly. “You shouldn’t have to bear this alone. You’ve carried this secret for far too long.”
“Who else should I have burdened with it then?” Emeric asked, his voice hoarse. He stared ahead at the family playing in the yard, his face a mask of misery. “My mother? My sister? Should I have shattered their illusion of my father as a noble man?”
Anna didn’t answer immediately. Her heart ached for Emeric, for the burden he’d borne all alone. That he had done it to protect his family from scandal and ruin was testament to his strength.
“No,” she said slowly, “but it wasn’t fair to you either. This... this is something that should have never been your burden alone to carry. Your father made selfish choices, Emeric, not you.”
Emeric let out a harsh laugh but didn’t respond. His eyes remained focused on his father and the other family who lived so obliviously in their joy. The rain continued to pour, soaking them in its relentless downpour, yet the laughter from the yard echoed up to them—a painful contrast to their somber atmosphere.
The woman in the doorway called the children inside, her laughter ringing out as she disappeared into the warmth of their home. Emeric’s father followed, pausing at the threshold to glance back over his shoulder. It was as if he sensed Emeric’s eyes on him, but he merely shrugged and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
Emeric stared at that closed door, his face like stone. “Ye are right,” he said finally, his voice heavy with resignation. “It wasnae fair. But life rarely is.”
Anna had thought his family the perfect representation of what she’d always thought a family should be. Caring. Close. Warm. And it was. It was all those things, but that didn’t mean it didn’t have a darker side, a more tangled side, riddled with secrets and tension.
There was no such thing as a perfect family, she realized. Just a bunch of people tied together with bonds that could harm as much as heal. A bunch of people who did the best they could for each other with what was given to them.
That thought gave her pause. Had her parents done the best they could for her? Had that transient lifestyle been the best life they could offer their daughter with the hand that life had dealt them? She’d never thought of it that way before.
There was silence, broken only by the rhythm of the rain on the leaves and distant peals of laughter from inside the house. Anna knew that she should feel anger towards Emeric’s father, yet all she felt was a profound sadness for Emeric, for all of them.
She reached out and squeezed his hand. “Thank you for trusting me with this.”
Her hand was dwarfed by his and she could feel the strength in him as his fingers slowly closed around hers. Warmth seeped into her from where their fingers entwined.
He let out a long, slow, breath. “It feels good,” he said at last. “To finally tell someone.” His eyes found hers in the gloom. “It feels good sharing this with ye, Anna.”
She couldn’t help but notice how their hands fit together, a lock and key. She looked down to hide the strange warmth spreading across her cheeks, focusing on the way histhumb gently stroked over her knuckles. She had never met anyone like him, anyone who made her feel the way he did: terrified and exhilarated in equal measure. She could make no sense of it.
“Emeric—” she began, but he put a finger against her lips to silence her.
And then his lips softly brushed hers.
She froze, the world suddenly reduced to the soft pressure of his lips, the warmth of his hand, the bitter chill of the rain. Then, slowly, she closed her eyes and leaned into him, surrendering to this unexpected tenderness. His lips were warm and firm and tasted oh so sweet. His other hand moved to cradle her face, fingers brushing the wet strands of hair away from her cheek.
His kiss was gentle, yet insistent, filled with an intensity that sent shivers down her spine. She felt him pull her closer, his free arm wrapping around her waist. She responded instinctively; her own arms moving up to drape around his neck. The world spun around them—rain and wind and cold—but all she could think about was Emeric and how right he felt against her.
He was the first to pull away, though he kept his forehead resting against hers. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his breath warm against her lips. “I shouldnae have—”
