But not today. I just want to sink into my couch and go to sleep. But my neighbor, Patrick, invited me over tonight to watchStranger Thingson Netflix.
Before you get too excited about thechillpart - don’t. That isn’t happening. And will never happen.
Patrick is absolutely not interested in getting it on with me. I don’t have enough testosterone in my body or facial hair for his liking. Which reminds me, I need to add waxing strips to my shopping list.
Once again, my mother’s romantical ideas of me meeting and falling head over heels with a successful, gorgeous man haven’t come to fruition. She and Patrick met when I moved into this place a year ago and she fell madly in love with him.
I don’t blame her. Patrick is an enormously handsome, albeit ego maniac of a man. Tall, strong, washboard abs, nice ass and gorgeous tasseled dark hair. He’s a beautiful specimen of a man, but unfortunately for me, does not like women.
He loves his men. Especially if they are lean, hot young twinks.
Which is totally fine by me. Pat is a great friend, a good neighbor and I like the fact that I can just hang with a man without having to keep an eye out for wandering hands.
Shifting the bag of Doritos I’m holding over to the crook of my other arm, I knock on Patrick’s door.
“Yo, Handsome Pat. Open up.”
I hear the yippy bark and theclick, click, clickof Pat’s wiener dog, Mr. Woodcock, from behind the door just before it swings open and I’m greeted with the broad white smile of Patrick Donaldson.
Seriously, the man always looks like he stepped out of a photoshoot from GQ.
“Cool your jets, Joey girl. I’m here and ready to sweep you off your feet.”
I push past him with a “pfft” but not before bending down and giving a quick pat on the head to Woody, as he’s affectionately called.
Setting the goodies on the counter, I turn back to face Pat, who’s shutting and locking the door.
“Do you think I’m too innocent?” I ask, curious as to how he sees me.
The whole notion of me not recognizing why a teenager would want a can of aerosol has been eating at my conscience all day. I guess I need an outsider’s opinion.
Pat steps in front of me, his fingers framing his chiseled and stubbled chin and cocks his head.
“Hm. Let me see,” his eyes wander over my face, down my neck, past my boobs and back up again. “Your body screams sexually experienced, but yes, I think you’re too naïve for your own good. You’re like little Cindy Brady. Or Doris Day. Or little Orphan Annie.”
I throw back my hand and send it flying into his bicep, hitting muscle so hard my knuckles crunch at the connection point.
“Asshole” I begin to whine when I hear the bathroom door opening and the sound of the toilet flushing.
My eyes go wide with surprise as I see a guy I don’t know walking out of the guest bath. My gaze zooms back on Patrick.
I had no idea someone else would be here tonight on our Netflix and chill night. I mean, I’m not opposed to Pat inviting a date over to join us, but this is a first. Call me selfish, but part of me enjoys just spending alone time with Pat. He’s the closest thing I have to a brother.
Patrick gives me a half shrug and glances back toward the guy who is now plopped down on the couch, the back of his head the only thing visible from where I stand. Woody dances at my feet eagerly awaiting me to pick him up. Bending down, I hoist him up and hold him under his belly before checking out the man on the couch.
All I can see is the back of a faded Cubs hat. I’m perplexed and a little offended that whomever this dude is he doesn’t even bother to come in and introduce himself.
Rude much?
I scowl and roll my eyes so that Patrick sees the injustice being served by his guest.
He takes a few steps toward the guy andthwampshim on the top of his hat.
“Hey, asswipe, we have company. I want to introduce you to my neighbor, Joey.”
The guy barely looks my way, just a flick of his eyes before returning to the TV, as his hand comes up in a flippant wave. All I see of his face is a hard profile, covered with a few days scruff that frames his perfectly sculpted jaw.
He looks like a college frat boy and is even dressed like one. I just don’t see the attraction Patrick would have with him, since most of his dates are impeccably dressed and coifed.
