Theo scooches closer. I stop breathing.
“You’ve got to dig deep and find it inside you,” he lifts his hand and taps his index finger on my boob.
Well, not exactly my boob, but above my heart. But it’s close enough to my boob that my nipples do a happy dance and stand at attention.
“Close your eyes.”
Uh, probably not a good idea but I go with it and do as he requests.
“Think of something that has made you so angry you just want to scream.”
Centering my thoughts, I flip through my archives and immediately know what it is.
Last night after class, Theo and I were hanging out in his apartment rehearsing together. His phone had been on the table and when he got up to go to the bathroom, an alert popped up on his phone.
It was right there so I glanced at it.
It was a message that popped up on Grindr. Oh my god, he was getting hookup alerts from interested men in the area!
I had absolutely no right to be pissed, because that was his business and I knew he was gay. But the confusion I felt turned me upside down. All night long it felt like he was flirting with me. Sending me mixed signals and soft touches on my leg, or arms.
By the time I returned to my apartment, my blood pressure was at an all-time high and I could barely breathe. I wanted to yell and scream and rail against the unfairness of this stupid attraction I have with him.
Theo must see the tight lines that form across my face and the change in my body’s physical state, because he says,
“That’s it. Now let it out. Yell atChester.”
I scream. But not at Chester. At Theo, my mother and myself.
I let go of all the pent-up confusion and frustration over my unrequited crush. At how dumb I feel lusting after a guy that clearly never wants anything to do with me physically.
I scream at my own self-loathing for letting my mom call the shots about my life and choices because I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to her.
I yell at the top of my lungs.
“You’re an asshole, Chester!”
And then I open my eyes and slap Theo across the face.
His response is electric. And unanticipated.
He grabs me at the top of my biceps, pulls me into him, and kisses me hard. Thoroughly. Passionately.
So hard I think my lips will be bruised.
So hard I feel it all the way down to my toes.
I let out a husky moan.
And then I find myself flat on my back, as Theo covers me with his body and continues to kiss me.
Oh my word, this is the best kiss ever.
Maybe it’s from all the untapped emotion that has sprung like a leak from deep inside me, or maybe just the passion I’ve tried to keep hidden from Theo.
Our tongues dance and quarrel, duking it out in a play for dominance. Theo’s abs contract underneath his shirt and my hands reach around to his back, sliding underneath the soft cotton and finding the strip of skin above his waistband.
I think I hear him growl in pleasure over my touch and then I feel the pressure of his very thick andveryhard length in the juncture between my legs.
