Chapter 11
I don’t knowwhere the words come from, but before I can stop them, they pop out of my mouth, a surprise to us both.
I’d been very intentional over the last year to shut down the possibility of her ever saying yes since she’s rejected me three times in the past. But something about this moment just feels right. Now that Cam is back in our lives, we can figure out our future together.
While it’s not possible for the three of us to legally marry each other, and Cam hasn’t finalized his divorce and is technically still married, it shouldn’t prevent London and me from marrying. And if he’s open to it, we can hold a commitment ceremony with Cam when he’s ready.
We’ve never discussed this with one another. The topic of our future hasn’t been raised since Cam’s returned and has been working at recovering one day at a time. Maybe it’s just my simple dream of a future together – sharing one another, sharing a home and our bed and the responsibilities of raising Taylor as a family.
A family is something I never had unless it encompassed London, Cam and our friendship. Their love was more intimate and bonding than anything I’d ever felt with my own parents.
And all I want is for that commitment to be made publicly and forever.
Cam strides into the room, picking up his scattered clothes that were strewn about in our earlier frenzy and putting them back on. As he does, he seems suddenly closed off and distant.
In the past, Cam liked to cuddle afterwards, but now he sits alone as he buttons his shorts, his T-shirt hanging loosely over the waistband.
“Sage,” London drawls, an uncertainty lingering in the sweet sound of her voice.
I’m ready for her rejection to my proposal, steeling myself against the sharp cut it’ll make in the wound that still hasn’t healed from her previous rejections. But I’m also hopeful for the answer I’ve longed to hear all these years.
“Do you not love me, London?”
I’m layering it on thick, hoping she’ll come to the same conclusion I have years ago. We’re perfect for each other and I have so much to give her now. Unlike when I was fresh out of prison.
“Of course, I love you, silly man.”
She sits up, adjusting the sheet to cover her breasts. Her eyes shine with a touch of sorrow. “But you know I also love Cam. I can’t choose between you two. I never have, and I never will. It’s impossible.”
Reaching for her hand, I bring it to my lips, kissing along her knuckles with reverence.
“Darlin’, I’m not asking you to choose. And that’s why I think the three of us should marry each other.”
Cam scoffs from his seated position, running a hand through his hair, mimicking London’s words back to me. “That’s impossible.”
I beckon him over to the bed with a wave of my hand as he stands, reluctantly sitting down next to me.
My hand slips behind his neck, grabbing hold of the scruff so he feels the honest truth behind my words even if he won’t hear them.
“Maybe not in the conventional sense, sure. But we can make London’s and my marriage legal on paper and then hold a private commitment ceremony with the three of us. We can do whatever the damn hell we want. Because this feels right. Like is too fucking short not to seal the deal between us. I only now feel like my life is finally on track when I’m with you both. Don’t you feel the same way?”
I hold my breath as I wait for their response. London replies first, snuggling into my neck with her face, the scent of her lightly lemon-fragrance shampoo filling my senses.
“You know I do. My life has always been about you two even when I wasn’t with you. Everything I am is because of you and Cam.” She kisses me on the lips and then moves to kiss Cam, who remains stoic and skeptical by my side.
“What do you think, Cam? Do you want us forever?”
Based on the apprehension written in his expression, you’d think I’d just held him down with a knife to his throat.
He jumps to his feet and paces next to the bed, worrying his lip between his teeth, rubbing a hand over his tense neck muscles.
“I need to think about Taylor and how this would affect him. He’s already been through so much with this divorce. I can’t thrust this in his face and expect him to just accept it. It’s not normal.” He uses air quotes and then turns away from me and London.
I search London’s eyes for an answer, hoping she’ll know what to say to make Cam see differently. Hoping he’ll want this as much as I do.
Cam has always been the thinker. He needs to ruminate on something before making a decision. Whereas I’ve always been too impulsive for my own good.
And London. She’s the most logical, practical and yet most sensitive between the three of us. She thinks and acts with an open heart. She bleeds love for the world – for the foster kids she works with in that god-awful foster system, for her family, and for us.
