Not happening.
I offer a chair next to Granny’s wheelchair for Sutton to sit down, and I take the next seat over. There’s another woman on the opposite side of the table, but she’s hunched over her plate mumbling something incoherently.
God bless her.
“Melodie, my sweet, beautiful girl. Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in ages.”
Sutton blinks, and I can see the thoughts forming in her head, as they roll around and gather steam before exiting her mouth in a lie I’ve basically demanded her to perform.
Sutton places a hand over Granny’s and leans in to kiss her forehead. The gesture has a lump forming in my throat.
“Hi, Granny. I’m so sorry I haven’t been here in a while. You know, I’ve just been so busy going to school and working in the city.”
Sutton flicks a hopeful glance at me, looking for further direction, and I blink, gesturing with a nod for her to keep going.
I feel like a prick for not warning Sutton what we might encounter today. It’s just such a crapshoot from day to day, and impossible to predict what version of my grandmother I’ll find when I show up.
Granny smiles proudly. “Oh, I’m so proud of you. Are you still swimming? You were always so fast in the water. I called you my little fish, do you remember?”
Sutton’s voice is thick with emotion that makes something inside me crack open. Fuck me, but this girl—this woman—is the best thing that’s ever happened in my life.
“I still swim, Granny. And Miles still seems to beat me.”
Granny’s attention returns back to me, and I try to fake my enthusiasm, stuffing the pain ripping me to shreds back inside my chest like a life-size Build-a-Bear experiment.
“Our Miles is hard to beat, that’s for sure. He was born to be a winner. He came early, you know, letting only one shrill cry out into the world. A tiny war-cry telling everyone know he was going to take the world by storm.”
I stifle the eye roll that wants to let loose, but how can I not be flattered to hear the adoring words from my own grandmother.
Looking at how little my grandmother has eaten, I encourage her to continue and invite Sutton with me to the cafeteria-style conveyor line.
“We’ll be right back, Granny. Don’t run off anywhere, okay?”
The words couldn’t ring truer. I’m not worried about her leaving physically, but who knows if the woman here with us will be the same one five minutes from now.
As I usher Sutton to the buffet, I can’t help but apologize for putting her in this compromising position.
“I’m sorry if this is awkward, Button.”
Sutton grabs a tray, passing it to me and picks up another one before sliding it over the metal counter. “Miles, you have nothing to apologize for. It just makes me sad to know you’ve been dealing with this all on your own. How long has she been here?”
I reach for a plate of spaghetti, the sauce runny and smelling heavy on the garlic, along with a prepared bowl of salad, setting them on my tray as I follow closely behind Sutton.
“A few months now. She’s only been noticeably declining over the past six months. Until then, she was sharp as a tack, only forgetting basic things, which is why I let her remain living alone in the house. But one day I got a call from the fire department while I was on a business trip in Dallas. She’d put oil in a pan to cook something and then forgot about it, leaving the stovetop burner on. Thank God the smoke detector went off and the alarm company called nine-one-one. When they found her, she was huddled in the corner of her bedroom, panicked and unresponsive.”
Sutton’s eyes hold sympathetic concern, her hand gripping my forearm with kind solidarity.
“Miles, that must’ve been awful, especially being so far away and unable to race home.”
We get to the end of the counter, and I pull my wallet out, handing the woman a fifty. The meals are included in my grandmother’s plan, but any guests are required to pay.
“Keep the change,” I offer as we head back to the table where my grandmother is now talking to an aide.
The man straightens as we walk up and place our trays down on the table.
“Is everything okay?” I ask him, his braided hair pulled up in a thick ponytail behind his head.
“Ah, yes. I was just checking in on my gal, Iris. She seemed a bit disoriented.”
