Now, after leaving the bar to boos and hisses from the boys, I stare up at the living room ceiling of my condo and contemplate the one true regret of my life.What would our lives be now if we hadn’t ended things that winter?Would she have ended up married to someone else with a kid?
Although, now that I think about it, she wasn’t with a guy tonight other than her dad, no sign of anyone else around.Why would her dad be here helping with Lennon and the move instead of a partner?
I’m probably overlooking a thousand possibilities.Maybe she’s with someone who travels for work and is out of town at the moment.I remember that Clint was a long-haul trucker, which was the reason Halle took care of her brothers in his absence.
Thoughts swirl in my mind as I slide a hand behind my head and stretch my legs down the length of the couch.There’s also another possibility to consider.
What if Halle and her daughter’s father didn’t work out?That could explain the absence of a husband or partner.
A slow smile draws across my mouth at the thought that Halle could be single.
I let out a long sigh, clasping both hands together behind my head, then close my eyes and let memories wash over me like a cascading waterfall, drenching me with images of our short time together.
The time I spent with Halle, albeit brief, had been the best time of my life.We were on the cusp of adulthood and hanging on to our teens but looking forward to the future.Being with Halle made me realize there was more to life than just hockey.There was something bigger to chase and hold on to.
But I didn’t hold on to her.
At the time, what we had together seemed important, seemed like something that could stand the test of time.But then she said goodbye and I agreed it was for the best.
I should’ve fought harder for her.I shouldn’t have given up so easily.
Honestly, it’s pathetic to think about, but it hurt my ego that she didn’t want to continue the relationship.So instead of fighting for what I wanted, I tucked those true feelings away.I didn’t want to look like some lovesick schmuck.I wasn’t going to beg her to stay with me.
That night, I acted like losing her was no big thing.
“Dane… I think we need to say goodbye.”She pauses, chewing on her lip.“So, you know, let’s just part as friends.”
I stare up at this beautiful girl and know I will never find another quite like Halle.
“Just promise that you won’t forget me, Dane.”
“Never,” I whisper.“I will never forget you, Cherry.I promise.”
I never did forget about her, but losing her cost me.
It cost me time with her.And in the process, I closed off my heart and never allowed another woman in.
Now that I have a chance to reflect, I see that Halle has always been in the recesses of my mind.Whenever I was alone or something jogged my memory, she was right there.
From the moment I saw her with cherry slushie dripping down her face and over her clothes, I knew she was still the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.
Uncharacteristic of me at the time, I chased her down and took her to breakfast the next time I saw her.From that moment on, it was impossible to resist the pull she had me.
After our first night together, we worked hard to carve out time to see each other and find places where we could hang out in private.Creativity was the name of the game back then when neither of us had privacy in our homes.I was living with a hockey billet family in Calgary, and her dad was taking time off the road for the holidays, which made it difficult to locate spots where we could get naked and fuck each other’s brains out.
But as the saying goes,if there’s a will, there’s a way,and we found ways.
Me: Hey, I’m outside.
Cherry: Outside where?
Me: Your house.Come to the window.Hurry.I’m freezing my ass off.
My entire body is numb as I stand outside of Halle’s house.I snuck out of my host family’s house tonight, walked a mile in the freezing cold and snow, and now wait below Halle’s second-floor bedroom window.
“What are you doing here?”Halle asks through the open window.She wraps her arms around her flannel pajama-covered body, her sleepy smile enough to get me hard, and steps to one side.
I carefully hoist myself through the window frame and toe off my snowy boots as she closes the window behind me.When I turn around, she is standing inches from me, and I can feel the warmth of her body in the small space between us.
