And then he winks.
“Some things never change,” I muse, over both his eating habits and that damn wink.
My stomach flutters wildly, and I stab a piece of my crab salad and shove it into my mouth.Regardless of the reason we’re here together, there’s no getting by how ridiculously attractive and charismatic Dane is.
This entire scene reminds me of the morning we first had breakfast together in Calgary and how easily he won me over.All through high school, I’d been staunchly opposed to dating anyone who played sports, especially hockey.
My God, hockey players can be an arrogant lot.What with my brothers and their friends, I’ve been around enough of them to pick up the types of conversations they have.It’s not unusual for them to talk about their sexual prowess and exploits, but there was no way I ever wanted the intimacies of my sex life or body discussed by a team of horny dudes.
It was the night of Carmen’s holiday party when I made the bold decision to lose my virginity with Dane.While I was desperate to lose my V-card before college, I wouldn’t have slept with Dane if I hadn’t known in my heart that he was a good guy and would protect my secrets.
He had dispelled the myth of the cocky, self-centered, hockey boy.
Which made my decision to break it off before college even more difficult.But I did it out of self-preservation.I wanted my heart to survive intact.
The irony is that by the time my heart started to mend and the dreams I had about Dane had waned, the little blue plus sign made its appearance on a pregnancy stick.
I’m only halfway through my salad when Dane wipes his mouth with his napkin and starts back where we left off before our lunch was served.
“Can I ask you a question?”His voice is solemn, and his gray eyes have softened.I’ve always loved the way his eyes could change in their coloring, exactly the way Lenni’s do.
I nod, placing my fork down on my plate.“Of course.”
He rubs a hand over the scruff of his cheek and expels a breath.“Why did you decide to keep the baby?”
My forehead furrows with confusion.
“You mean, why didn’t I end the pregnancy or give her up for adoption?”
Dane shoves his hands in his hair and places his elbow on the table.“I don’t want it to sound judgmental or like I’m suggesting you should have.That’s not what I mean…” He lifts his head again and stares at me with sincerity in his eyes.“I just remember how excited you were about playing volleyball in college and getting your degree.A baby must have complicated that.”
I snort.“Ya think?”
He makes a face.“Yeah.I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you.If I’d been in your shoes and had to give up hockey?Fuck.”
Pursing my lips together, I avoid his eyes while considering my response carefully.I look off into the bustling restaurant, recalling when I worked as a hostess while pregnant.
“My life would be a lot different, that’s for sure.But not better.I guess the universe took matters into her own hands and removed that decision from me because by the time I found out, I was too far along.”I turn and lock my eyes with his.“And honestly?Lenni is the best thing that has ever happened to me.I love being her mom.”
The life she’s brought me flashes before my eyes.The moment I first saw her small form appear on the ultrasound, her tiny bean-like body curled up like a shrimp.
The day I felt the first kick in my belly.Holding her in the delivery room after a twelve-hour labor.Watching her take her first steps as she toddled from me to my dad on our living room floor.
Hearing the sound of her giggles as she ran down the hallway at full speed.The sweet tone in her voice when she says, “Mama.”
My heart tripled in size the day she came into my life.
“I wouldn’t change it for the world,” I say with finality.“It’s true what they say.Sometimes the hardest parts of your life are what prepare you for the greatest.”
Dane smiles and leans toward me.“Let me be part of it, Hal.Please.”
God, how do I say no to such a heartfelt request?
“Let me think about it.Just give me some time, okay?”
He looks dejected but then his mouth curves up into a smile that melts my insides.After he pays the check, he places a hand at the small of my back as we head outside into the gray and misty afternoon.
When was the last time a man touched me like that?
