22
Halle
It’s been so long since I’ve had an entire eight hours of alone time, I don’t even know what to do with myself.
Now that the fog has lifted, I have strength to take a shower, do my laundry, and pick this place up.I head into the bathroom and turn on the faucet, waiting for the old pipes to warm the water up.Washing off the gross stink that’s collected on me while I’ve been in my sickbed is priority number one.
As I wait for the water to heat, I make the mistake of glancing into the bathroom mirror and nearly jump back at my reflection.I look like I’m in aWalking Deadepisode.
My God, it’s horrifying.
My hair is jumbled, unkempt chaos, pushed halfway in and out of a bun I finally shoved it into this morning.After days of sweaty fever sleep, it’s in desperate need of a wash.Leaning into the mirror for a closer examination of my face, I’m shocked to see how bedraggled I look.Bluish bags cling under my puffy red eyes, and my sallow skin makes me appear to have been dug up from a shallow grave.
I shudder at the sight of my zombie-like appearance and yank off my robe and the T-shirt I’d hastily thrown on after Dane caught me naked by surprise.I toss them in the hamper and stand in front of the mirror, then critically examine my body, trying to see what Dane must have.My fingertips explore the skin along my collarbone, and I remember the way Dane froze in my doorway when he walked in and then didn’t turn away.
It was unexpected—and dare I say, thrilling—to have his eyes roam over my nakedness in that sensual way a lover’s gaze does.My hand drops to my left breast, dreamily stroking my nipple with my thumb, the sensitive nub stiffening under the caressing touch.
It’s been so long since I’ve been touched.I wonder what it would’ve been like had Dane stepped closer, cupped my breasts in his palms, seeking and finding all my erogenous spots.My own hand glides down over my belly—the stomach that was once flat and firm but now is soft, with a slight belly pooch from bearing a child.I run my hand over the curve of my hips and then slip my fingers between my legs, a soft moan escaping my lips as I drag them through the wetness of my folds and circle the sensitive nub.
Closing my eyes from the sensation that overtakes me, I reach out a hand to grip the edge of the counter and allow the image of Dane to come to the forefront of my mind.I imagine him kneeling in front of me, rough hands grasping my curvy hips, face between my thighs as he pushes his wet tongue at my entrance.
The orgasm comes out of nowhere with surprising force, like a ten-foot cresting wave hitting the sand.My head drops forward, and I exhale a shaky breath.My body feels limp from pleasure, yet I still feel empty and lonely.
When I return to myself, I stare once again at my reflection and let out a short laugh.Nearly twenty-five years old, a single mom and a recent college grad, and I’ve only ever had one man inside me.
Dane.
It’s embarrassing to admit, but my love life has been a nonexistent priority.Raising my daughter and getting through my online college program was always my focus.I had to make something of myself so I could be an example for Lenni.
It was hard work, and sometimes I felt defeated on those nights when she wouldn’t sleep or was fussy, but never once did I regret having Lenni.She’s my North Star.
But one thing I may be regretting is whether I’ve made the right decision to keep Dane in the dark all those years.Seeing him with her and watching the way he’s stepped in to handle things while I’ve been sick makes me question what I should do now.
He still wants an answer about when we can tell Lenni that he’s her dad.
I weigh the options as I step into the tub, ducking under the hot stream of water.I luxuriate in the scent of my body wash and the heat of the deluge, washing away all the unpleasantness of illness.My soapy hands move over my body, recognizing all the changes since giving birth.
The last time I was with Dane, I was in the best shape of my life.I was firm and fit from playing volleyball, and, let’s be honest, I was also in an eighteen-year-old body.Now I’m a woman with C-cup boobs, hips that have stretched and widened, and thighs that no longer fit into the skinny jeans of my past.And my ass—Lord help me, but you could say it has a postal code all its own.
With a heavy sigh, I step out of the tub and reach for a towel when I hear my phone chirping from a distance.A strange thrill zings through me pebbling my flesh as I wonder if it’s Dane.
Wrapping the towel around me, I rush into the bedroom and peer down at the notification on the screen.It’s an email from Trevor, possibly in response to my earlier email.
My stomach sinks, and a new seed of concern blooms in my head.
What if he fires me?I’ve already been out far more days than any new employee should be when they are barely a month on the job.Trevor must think I’m a lazy, unreliable employee who just wants to sit around and use up personal days.
It kills me that he might think I’m not doing my job.The reality is, kids get sick, and I thought moms are supposed to be immune and invincible.
That’s not my luck.
I send a silent prayer up to the universe and open my email app.With a shaky finger, I click on the message.
Hey Halle.
Got your message and I’m just checking in on how you’re doing.I ran into Ax this morning down in the staff wing.He said you were very ill and needed more time to recover.That is absolutely no problem.I’d prefer you stay at home when sick, anyway.Better to keep your sick germs to yourself and not spread it to your colleagues.Ha Ha
I hope that doesn’t sound insensitive because I am truly worried about you.The flu bug this year is a rough one.Please take all the time you need to recover.
