I told her I was committed to someone. That I wouldn’t be doing casual hook-ups anymore. Though after my behavior, who would believe that? How willyouever believe that?
As I sat there in the garden alone, I realized something very important. I do love you. Deeply. I am completely committed. I will remain committed to you for the rest of my life.
I will never give up.
I don’t deserve you. Yet. But someday, River, I hope to.
All my love,
Patrick
17
Patrick was gone.
Rowan and Raven explained their ‘Rehabilitate Patrick’ plan to River after the meeting with MacGregor.
He would live with Nan. Rowan admitted it was her suggestion. He could work on himself and help their grandma around the house.
River wouldn’t have to work at avoiding him.
Raven said he would be welcome to come back to Dublin when she had her baby. Bran would be devastated without him, and Raven would be devastated without River. Could River please be in the same room with him for Baby O?
She’d assured her sister that, of course, she could.
Five weeks. He would be away for five weeks.
She didn’t feel relief. Which was the whole flipping reason for the separation and proved she wasn’t rational when it came to Patrick O’Faolain. She would have caved and seen him if he’d stayed. That wouldn’t have been healthy for her.
But, oh God. He’d looked so lost in the meeting. It hurt her to stand across from him. He’d been so still, so unanimated. Not normal. He had been trying to make himself smaller in her presence.
There was nothing about this situation that pointed toward a happy ending.
And then— Rowan handed her a letter— from Patrick. She told River that it had been a part of their deal. Patrick would not try to see or talk to her if Rowan would give River his letters.
She read it five times. It was painful each time. He was right about one thing. She had imagined worse. It had still been debilitating to know what he’d done. She’d cried for over an hour as her sisters sat silently next to her.
Normally, River would have given them the letter to read. She didn’t— couldn’t. It was personal and raw, and Patrick’s inner thoughts. He still deserved privacy.
Washing her face with a wet washcloth one of her sisters got her, she could tell her eyes were swollen and raw. Someone had also put a closed sign on the door, thank God. Sitting straighter, she tried to get her bearings. Her body felt all wobbly and jittery. Carefully, River folded the letter and placed it in her purse. She knew she would find a safe place to store it at home.
“Okay, then, Row. No more letters at work,” she tried to chuckle, but it came out choked, another tear slipping down her cheek. She heardOh, RivandRiverspoken low while she once again blotted her eyes.
“Sorry, guys. I don’t even have pregnancy hormones to blame.” This time, she was able to smile.
“Riv, did I screw up? Should I not have committed to delivering the letters?”
Rowan was clearly distraught, her hands clasped tight on her desktop.
“No, you were right to do it. It hurt to read about that night... but now I know. I think imagining and wondering was much worse. It was just hard to read.”
“Well, the worst is over. I hope,” Raven smiled. “You know, River, I didn’t want him to have any chance at contacting you again. He hurt you, and I was angry. It reminded me too much of me and Bran. I was wrong, and I’m glad Rowan did what she did. Whether you ever take him back or not, every person deserves the chance to apologize and change.”
“Okay, Raven,” Rowan said, “call your husband and go home. River, you and I are meeting Josh at the Murphy’s pub to hammer out Raven’s proposal of working more closely together with him on future projects.”
“What the hell? It wasmyproposal! I’m going too.” Raven jumped from her seat, wobbling side to side before she found her center of balance. Baby O was— BIG.
“We’ve been sitting here for hours because of me. You—” River stopped mid-sentence when she noticed Raven getting more upset.
