Jo hadn’t revealed that she and Thomas would be parting ways. Strange. Rowan would corner her tomorrow. “Surely, those two will meet back up once their schedules allow.” Rowan hoped so, anyway. Speaking of separation, Rowan had to tell her sisters about her plans. She was about to put her thoughts into words when Raven placed a trembling hand over Rowan’s knee.
“Have you found someone to talk to?”
Her sister didn’t have to explain. Raven and River had asked her to consider speaking to a therapist when she was recovering in the hospital from the gunshot. Even before getting shot, they knew that finding out her picture had been posted on Delton’s dark website affected her sense of safety. How many people knew her face? Her name? Could there be someone worse than Delton waiting in the shadows even now, biding their time?
Of course, the site had been taken down and even security expert Thomas MacGregor believed she was safe. There were still moments when Rowan caught herself looking over hershoulder as she walked down a sidewalk. After being shot, she admitted to herself and her sisters that she did need to speak to someone outside of the family. She didn’t want fear to take an even firmer foothold than it already had.
“I did. I think I’ll really like her. I have my first appointment next week.” Rowan inwardly grimaced when River and Raven looked so relieved and happy. Unfortunately, once they knew where her appointment was...
Taking a deep breath, Rowan cleared her throat. A disgusting habit she had to have picked up from Raven. She started with, “So...”
Raven and River immediately focused on their youngest sister, brows raised in high alert. Here it goes, Rowan thought. “I’m leaving in the morning with Jo.”
“The fuck you are,” River shot back immediately.
“River,” Raven admonished. “What’s this all about, Row? You never mentioned going anywhere.”
Rowan shrugged sheepishly. She’d known her sisters would be upset that she’d waited ’til the last moment to tell them. “Nan and Dom know. I just made them stay quiet. I took a job in Tulsa.”
Blink. Blink. Blinking. Oh, God. Blink. Sniffle. More sniffles.
Fuck. Glassy eyes. Tears.
“But...” River couldn’t finish. Her lips were wobbling. “The baby—October...”
“Riv,” Rowan grabbed her sister’s hand and squeezed. “It’s only mid-June now. I’ll be home in three months or less. Plenty of time for auntie duties, I promise.”
Raven only stared at her. Her one reaction was a small pat to River’s knee. Otherwise, she was still. Still and, if her white knuckles were any indication, struggling.
“You’re running.”
That wasn’t a question. Raven knew why Rowan was leaving, and she wasn’t happy. “Yes,” Row answered honestly.
River’s hormonal tears dried when she realized what was actually happening…and why. “I will fucking kill him for this, Rowan! Why does that King Ding-a-ling get to stay with all of us when my baby sister is being run out of town?”
Phew! River’s pregnancy hormones were as unpredictable as Raven’s had been. Except River’s were much moreGodfather. Rowan almost lost a finger last week when she’d taken a bite of River’s toast during breakfast.
“It isn’t Hugh’s fault.” At both sisters’ looks of disbelief, Rowan added, “Seriously, he has been keeping his distance. We rarely see each other and when we do, we rarely interact.” Rowan refused to admit that she’d sworn Hugh had followed her and Ciaran Murphy on a dinner date two weeks ago. He’d sworn it was an ‘I’m glad you didn’t die’ offer of food, which was kind, but Rowan could tell the younger Murphy wanted more. A lot more than Rowan was willing to give.
River disagreed. “He still watches you in his broody, silent, annoying way.”
Yes, he did, but Rowan had gotten much better at pretending not to notice.Fake it until you make it.
“Row,” Raven began, pursing her lips, obviously reluctant to push, “you are running. Right?”
Rowan sighed. Defeated. Worn down from months upon months of watching the people she loved most get their happy. They would never, not in a million years, make her feel like the odd one out, but she felt that way, nonetheless. She would never tell her sisters, but she’d stood outside a pub one evening in the rain, watching the foursome smile and laugh over dinner. It had hollowed her.
Then there was watching the man she loved, and yes, damn it, she did love Hugh O’Faolain, drift further and further away from her grasp.
They had shared intimate moments, yes, but they also, at least Rowan had believed they had, shared a bond, one born of respect. She wasn’t what he wanted or needed, though. She had to leave. Had to.
Some of her thoughts must have passed over her features because Raven and River placed their fingertips on each of her cheeks.
Love. Only love. Always.
“I understand.”
“I support your decision.”
