He chuckles. “Ditto.” At leasthegets my humor. I assess him quickly. He’s slim and stands just at six feet tall. He has reddish-brown, shaggy hair. As he looks through the camera lens, a stray strand falls into his eyes. He has a straight nose, brown eyes, and thick dark lashes. I frown.
“Have I met you before?” I ask.
“Nah. I have one of those faces. I probably remind you of a next-door neighbor, some guy you ran into at a bar, or a random person you went to school with and never talked to.”
I laugh. “Those were some very specific examples.”
He shrugs.
“You’re stuck with me for the next six weeks, so please call me Jessica. It’s too much, calling me Alpha Princess all the time. That goes for you, too, Carmen.” She doesn’t look up from her clipboard. Alrighty then, she is very focused on her job.
“Jessica, now here is how I want to approach this. Of all the interviews you did to promote the show, my favorite wasTheLate Night Show with Sammy Cane. I understand you went off script, but I liked it. You gave the viewers a glimpse of who you are and what they may see during the show. You were funny, sassy, different, and vulnerable—someone they can relate to or want to befriend.”
I turn to Christian. “Are you recording this?”
He frowns. “Why do you ask?”
“Oh, I just want my PR guy, Gary, to hear this so I can tell him to shove it with a big, confident smile.”
“Jessica, please focus,” Carmen chastises me, still staring at her clipboard.
Does this woman ever laugh at jokes? I roll my eyes and scrunch my face at Christian. He shakes his head and chuckles softly.
“Okay. Start with introducing yourself, and then tell us how you came to be on this show. Look at the camera when you’re speaking. Oh, and if it helps, just remember that the gentlemen will go through this same type of interview.”
Why would that make me feel better? I flick my eyes upward before glancing at Carmen. She isn’t paying attention to me. I glimpse my face projected on a set of monitors where she sits. Anxiety creeps into me, and my breath catches. This is really happening. I’ve been fumbling through the motions, but it didn’t feel real until right now. I take another breath, trying to calm myself. I can do this. I have to do this.
“Jessica?” Christian questions. “Just look at me when you talk, like we’re good friends just hanging out, swapping stories.”
I nod. “Sorry. I, uh… I think it just sunk in. I don’t usually like being the center of attention, especially when I feel so… exposed, which is odd—right? —because of my career. I spend a good deal of my life hiding out in the open, if that makes any sense,” I ramble.
“What does that mean? Always hiding out in the open?” Carmen asks.
Still looking at Christian, I answer her question. “Have you ever played peekaboo with a child? After playing with them for a while, you realize that, for some reason, the child assumes you can’t see them when they cover their own eyes. They know you are there, but because they can’t see you, they think you can’t see them. That’s how I hide out in the open. As a music artist, I weara mask and color my hair so no one recognizes me. My fans and music manager just chalk it up to being a little eccentric.”
I laugh and smile at Christian. He grins back.
“I think no one can see me when I am up on stage, playing music, singing. I feel free. I share who I really am with thousands of strangers, sharing stories of anger, heartbreak, redemption, and courage. I close my eyes and do what I love. At work, I wear business clothing and glasses—another mask. I’m a no-nonsense woman, a force to reckon with, but I love that part of my life, too. My business isn’t just about making money but about helping others to build careers and businesses of their own. Then, there’s my role with the guards. I always feel a little more comfortable in that setting. Again, it’s all about protecting others, but even so, I hide a part of myself just to fit in.”
I pause. Everyone watches me, waiting for the next confession.
“Are you familiar with that superhero… Superman? During the day, he pretends to be a nerdy guy with glasses. He’s sweet, clumsy, and nervous. Then, at night or during some kind of disaster, he transforms into Superman with superpowers. He protects those around him and defeats the bad guys. He either hides behind a pair of glasses, or he hides behind his insignia. Did anyone ever stop to ask him what his life would be like if he didn’t have to hide? Would he even know? Anyway, I’m still figuring out who I am without the different masks. So sitting here with no mask, with no work to hide behind, talking about myself, is an unnerving experience.”
“You’re doing fine,” Carmen responds from her seated position near the monitors. “Let’s skip the introduction part for now and talk about how you ended up here on the show.”
I chuckle. “Gosh, that is a loaded question. Where do I begin?” I glance down at my hands, collecting my thoughts for an appropriate answer.
“Just be honest, Jessica. This is the whole point of the interview. Viewers want to know the real you.”
I nod, clear my throat, and look back at the camera. “Did you ever have one of those dreams where someone flips the channel? Suddenly, you’re in a different dream, and it keeps changing from one dream to the next, like someone has control of a TV remote? Two weeks ago, to the day, that’s kind of how my day started. I didn’t have control over the remote, and I just found myself in one situation after another.”
“Tell us more about that day,” Carmen encourages.
“I could do that. Not sure how much time you have,” I add with a smirk.
“Give it a go. We can take breaks in between, and I will guide you along with follow-up questions, if need be.”
“Okay… But before I can explain that day, I need to fill in some details of my life over the past eight years. It might get a little confusing, but if you pay attention, it will all make sense eventually. I hope.”
