Jackie is crying, Claire notes distantly. Maybe Claire is, too; their kisses taste like salt. How did she ever live without this? Without Jackie pulsing in the palm of her hand, her tongue in Claire’s mouth, pressed together as tightly as two people can be pressed, like two vines twisted into one?
“Claire…” Jackie whispers brokenly. Both hands cup Claire’s face as she presses her lips to every inch of bare skin she can reach. “Please stay.”
Claire isn’t sure if Jackie means not to pull her fingers away, or something more meaningful. Maybe she means both. Either way, Claire doesn’t plan on going anywhere.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t see this before,” Claire whispers back. Her fingers are still buried deep in a heat she never wants to leave. Her voice is shaky, but sure. “I feel like I’ve been blind my whole life.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jackie says. She tilts her head forward until their foreheads are pressed together. “I should have explained it to you. Instead, I just left you to do it on your own.”
“I know you’ve been hurt before,” Claire says.
“I didn’t want to ruin another life. I was so scared you would hate me if I dragged you into this.” Jackie sighs, stroking her fingers down Claire’s temple and across her jaw. “It’s happened before. All because I—”
Jackie cuts herself off. Though she doesn’t finish the thought, Claire’s heart soars at the mere thought of what might have been the end of that sentence.
“I thought I could keep my distance with you,” Jackie says instead. She’s gnawing at her lower lip. Claire can just see the imprint of her kisses there in Jackie’s faded lip balm, and it’s entirely distracting. “Keep things light. Just a stupid little crush. But it grew. That day in the pool I realized it was more. And I got the feeling that…”
“That I wanted to kiss you,” Claire finishes.
Jackie traces over Claire’s lips so gently that it almost tickles. “That made it real. Suddenly it hit home that I was doing exactly the same thing I did last time.”
“With a better result this time,” Claire says. She nips at Jackie’s fingertips, making them both smile.
Jackie’s face brightens, but it dims again as she casts her eyes downward. It’s as if every time Jackie really feels this, lets this happiness course through her, she stamps on the brakes.
“I’m not Valerie,” Claire says softly.
Jackie looks up sharply. The shock is brief, changing quickly into suspicion as she glances backward as if she could glare at Theo through the wood. “Honestly,whatdid Theo tell you?”
“When you were gone, I…” Claire swallows, her mouth suddenly a little dry. “I was worried about you. I went into your house to find Theo’s phone number, so I could check on you, and there were photos on your desk.”
Jackie sighs. She toys with Claire’s shirt, smoothing the rumpled collar. “Ah.”
“And then Louise said something about you and Mrs.Wilson, and things started to make sense.”
“Who the hell is Louise?”
“She’s in Martha’s book club. It doesn’t matter,” Claire says. “But it’s true, isn’t it? You and Susan were together, at your housewarming party.”
Jackie bites her lip. “And if it was? Would you be upset?”
“No. It made me realize that I love you,” Claire says, with hardly a thought.
Jackie goes still. Her grip on Claire’s shirt goes tight again. She’s tense against Claire, and the shock in her eyes is palpable.
Claire can’t help it. She lets out a sound, half-laugh and half-sob, at just howtruethose words feel.
Ten years of marriage and years of dating prior, and she and Pete have barely said those words to each other. No matter what Jackie told her about it, romantic love always seemed like a thing that was made up for the movies. That squirrelly, desperate, lets-go-to-Niagara-Falls-and-elope love always felt like a lie. The love from the songs didn’t exist.
“You love me?” Jackie says, with a quiet wonder.
Pete’s angry face flashes in Claire’s mind, full of the confusion and rage that the morning will bring. She sees her mother, pale and worried about Claire’s future. She sees Martha, assuring Claire that her relationship with her husband can be worked out.Grin and bear it.
None of them hold a candle to Jackie right now, flushed and hopeful and nervous.Jackieis nervous. Jackie, the very embodiment of confidence. It makes Claire feel braver.
“I think I fell in love with you the minute we met,” Claire says.
Jackie’s breath shudders. It’s as if she’s deflating, sagging against Claire and throwing her arms around her shoulders.
