My day was spent in anticipation of every break, every kiss.
I sat on Caden’s lap during lunch, but I couldn’t figure out what was going on with Luke. He ignored me. Maybe he was preparing for the game tonight. After all, he’s the quarterback. I have no idea what his pregame ritual looks like.
The school we play is a half hour bus ride away, so they won’t get home until late. The horsemen excused me from the webcam tonight. I’m sure I hid my disappointment well enough. Most likely they’ll go to a party anyway, and I’d just see empty rooms. My punishment from the horsemen for being grounded is being grounded.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night?” I ask Kenz as I eat some pizza. I’m not crazy about staying by myself in the house when Mom works thirds.
She grimaces. “I would, but Brandon plans to sneak in later.”
“Ah, yes, you have an actual boyfriend instead of four dicks who want to get in your pants.” I laugh lightly, but I still don’t know what to do to stop the guys from pushing me further. The kissing is…
I want to say nice, but the kisses are so far from nice. My whole being feels inflamed when one of them kisses me.
“Did you honestly tell Penny and her friends to go for it with the guys this weekend?”
It’s my turn to grimace. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
During art, Penny initiated a conversation again, and I assured her the guys were free to do what they wanted with who they wanted. I just hope she doesn’t tell the guys I told her that because there will be spanking if she does. A little shiver goes through me.
Maybe I secretly want her to spill, so they have an excuse to punish me.
Yup, my brain is fucked up.
“If they touch or fuck another girl, it’s my out clause.” I shrug like the thought of them with another girl doesn’t dig at something growing inside me. My stomach turns a little. “Then they don’t own me and can’t try to devirginize me.”
“Well, they can still try, but you won’t have to bow to their demands as easily as you do because they own you.” Kenz collapses into the couch. “You know, I can barely keep up with Brandon. I can’t even imagine having four horny guys after me.”
“Here’s hoping they decide to fuck someone else.” I force a smile to my lips as a rock settles in my stomach. I mean, it would definitely be better for me if they found someone else to fuck, but I’ll miss them. “It was kind of nice to be on the map for once though.”
“Girl, you are squarely on the map. If those guys give up the chase, I’m pretty sure you’ll find yourself under pursuit by at least four or five other dudes who want to claim you.” Kenz smiles and shoves my shoulder. “You clean up good, and the boys have noticed.”
“I would have preferred them to notice before the guys claimed me. Things would have been easier. Just one dick to hold off.” I sink into the movie again, preferring an imaginary world over this one. This world is way too confusing.
I both want and don’t want the guys in my life. Thinking of them breaking our deal makes me both happy and sad. Maybe I should ask Mom for a mental health check.
When the movie ends, Kenz gives me a hug. “Here’s hoping your guys fuck around on you this weekend.”
“Yeah,” I say half-heartedly. Didn’t Luke say it’s been two months since he last fucked someone? That seems like a long time.
There are parties I won’t be at. Not that I have ever attended a party, but maybe after this weekend, I can go. I’ll have to find a boyfriend if the guys fuck up, because they won’t quit until I do.
“Hey.” Kenz pulls her shoes on and touches my arm. “Maybe they won’t fuck around. They seem like guys of their word.”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.” I shake my head and smile wearily at her. “Part of me wants to be free and part of me wants to keep kissing them and having their attention.”
“They’re hot as hell, and I can’t say I blame you, to be honest. If it were me, I’m not sure I would last a week before spreading ’em.” Laughing, Kenz opens the door. “I’ll see you soon. Night.”
“Night.” I lock the doors and double check everything is off. I’ve never liked when Mom works the night shift, but I’ve been through it enough times to know I just need to go to sleep and tomorrow I’ll wake up. Just like every other night.
I pull on a sleep shirt and shorts and crawl into bed. My laptop is closed, and I know they aren’t home so there’s no reason to open it. I roll over on my back and stare at the ceiling.
I refuse to open my laptop and be a creeper in their empty rooms. But deep inside, I know I miss seeing them before I go to sleep.
CHAPTER 21
The Ambush
Harper
