“Not yet, Lee,” he groans.
I can hear a wet sticky sound slipping from the phone. “Fuck, I need to be inside you. I need to feel you wrapped around me.”
I almost can’t believe he wants me. That he’s pleasuring himself from the thought ofme.The thought makes me wild, ravenous. Out of control.
Stars threaten to blind me as my head falls back onto the couch. “Please.”
“Ask again.”
“Please let me come. Please, Phoenix. Please.”
“Now why are you never this sweet to me in person?” He makes a happy sound. “Go ahead. But make a lot of noise while you do it.”
I follow his instructions; my fingers being controlled by his hand. I groan loudly as sticky white cum shoots across my t-shirt. My moans fill the apartment at an almost embarrassing volume.
“Fuck,” Phoenix grunts softly like he didn’t want to miss a single sound I made.
After, I’m done gasping and the phantom touch of his fingers disappears, Phoenix’s low chuckle floats through my living room. “See you Monday, Cameron.”
The line goes dead.
What the fuck did I just do?
The morning comes too fast.
I wake with the sound of his voice still in my head, low and teasing, curling around me like smoke. I lie there staring at the ceiling, sheets tangled around my legs, my body still tense from what I let myself do last night.
What I let him make me do.
I shouldn’t have picked up the phone. I told myself I wouldn’t. I told myself I’d keep him at arm’s length, let his jokes and his boldness slide off me like water. But Phoenix doesn’t slide off. He sticks. He presses. And the worst part is that I let him.
I can still hear the way he said my name, drawing it out, like he knew exactly what it would do to me. How quickly my breathing had shifted, how easily I’d given him the sounds he wanted. I hate myself for it. I hate that I didn’t block his number the moment I got that picture.
Instead, I closed my eyes and let his words pour into me until I was lost.
It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. Not with him. Not with anyone.
I drag myself out of bed and into the shower, hoping the water will wash it away, but it doesn’t. Every time I blink, I see his mouth. Every time I run my hands through my hair, I feel the ghost of his touch, even though he wasn’t here. He didn’t need to be. He was already under my skin, and last night proved it.
The guilt twists sharp in my chest. My father’s voice slithers up from the past like it always does when I feel something I shouldn’t. Weak. Filthy. Wrong.
I lean against the cool tile, forehead pressed hard against it, trying to drown out the memory of Phoenix whispering exactly what he’d do if he were here. Trying to fight the heat creeping back into my gut at the thought of it.
I can’t stop thinking about him. That’s the problem. Even as I tell myself it was a mistake, even as I promise I won’t let it happen again, my mind drifts back to the sound of his laughter, the sharp edge of his confidence, the way he spoke like he already owned me.
And God help me, part of me liked it.
That’s the part I can’t forgive myself for—the small, hidden part that wanted to be told what to do, that ached under his words like it had been waiting for them.
By the time I leave the shower, I’m exhausted. I dress mechanically, try to eat something, fail. The day stretches ahead of me like a punishment. Every little thing reminds me of him—the buzz of my phone on the counter, the smell of leather when I pull on my jacket, even the smirk of a stranger passing on the street. My brain twists them all into Phoenix.
I hate how much I want to hear from him again.
The phone sits heavy in my pocket as I go through the motions of my day. I catch myself checking it every few minutes, convincing myself it’s just habit. But it isn’t. It’s him. It’s waiting to see if he’ll reach out. If he’ll push again, test the boundaries I swore to keep.
He will. I know he will. And worse… I’m excited for him to do it.
The truth gnaws at me; last night wasn’t Phoenix forcing his way in. I opened the door. I stood there, bare, and let him in. My defenses didn’t crumble. I lowered them. I wanted to hear him. Wanted to give him that power, even if it left me shaking after.
