“Nothing,” Phoenix says with a laugh. “I think Lee had a scary dream.”
I twist the shower knob until ice-cold water bursts from the nozzle, steamless and punishing.
I grab my bag from the backseat, zipping it up quickly while Phoenix fishes his phone out. He’s parked out front of my apartment, one hand on the wheel, the other holding the callwith his sports manager like he’s negotiating life itself. I try not to listen, but a part of me can’t help catching snippets—words likecontract,press,team meeting. His voice is steady, controlled. Calm. Everything I feel when I’m near him? Opposite.
“I’ll be done in a sec. You go ahead,” he mutters when he notices me fidgeting with my keys. His tone is light. I bite back a smile, not answering, heading up the stairs.
As I step into the apartment, the familiar hum of silence greets me. Dust motes float in the sunlight slicing through the blinds. I stop short in the living room.
“Lee, that you?” a voice calls out.
“Jere, is that you?” I drop my bag heading towards his room.
“Yeah, I’m on the balcony!”
I hesitate. My chest feels like it’s stuck somewhere between excitement and dread. But Jeremy’s expression is calm, almost expectant. I push open the sliding glass door and step onto the balcony.
The air is cool, brushing my skin, but nothing cools the heat in my chest.
Jeremy pushes his blond hair out of his face, smiling. “Hey, man.” He hugs me, holding his cigarette away.
“Did you get home just now?” I snatch the cig from his hand taking a puff.
He snorts. “I got back yesterday. Where have you been? The house looks like no one has been living in it.”
“Oh, um.” I rub the back of my head nervously. “I’ve just been busy.”
“You’ve been… busy?” Jeremy says, exhaling a slow stream of smoke. He tilts his head, eyeing me like he’s trying to read every thought in my mind. “Seeing someone?”
I feel the color rise in my cheeks. “Yeah… kind of,” I admit, voice quieter than I intended. I glance down at the rail, clenching my hands around the metal edge.
Jeremy smirks knowingly. “Kind of doesn’t cover it. Casually seeing someone, or… basically moved in with them?” He flicks ash over the edge, not looking at me, just studying the city.
I bite my lip, hesitating. It’s hard to explain. “It’s… different. He’s, I don’t know… obsessive,” I murmur, the word tasting strange on my tongue.
Jeremy’s gaze sharpens. “Obsessive?”
“Not in a bad way… well, maybe a little—but in the way that I can’t… I’ve been staying with him a lot. He’s sweet, and caring.But also addictive. I can’t get enough of him. I just… he’s like a drug, and I—” I stop, realizing I’m rambling.
He just waits, exhaling slowly, letting the smoke drift like a pause in the conversation.
“I’ve never… felt like this before,” I admit, finally meeting his eyes. “I’ve never needed someone the way I need him. And it might be stupid, but I can’t help it. Every time I’m not around him, it eats at me. And when I am… it’s everything. I can’t stop thinking about him, and I don’t want to. But I know it’s… dangerous.”
Jeremy chuckles softly, shaking his head. “Sounds like you’re in deep, buddy.”
I shrug, hiding my hands in the pockets of my jacket. “I know.”
“How does your brother feel about all this?” Jeremy watches me carefully.
“He thinks Phoenix is going to kill me emotionally.” I laugh sadly.
He leans back against the railing, his blue eyes steady and even. “Look, Lee, I’m not gonna lecture you. But you gotta be careful. Obsession and love? They’re different animals. Don’t get burned thinking you’re handling it when you’re just addicted.”
I nod, feeling the weight of his words. “I’m… trying.”
“Good,” Jeremy says, taking one last drag before flicking the cigarette over the edge. “Just… don’t lose yourself in him. Not entirely. You gotta breathe, Lee.”
I grin faintly, appreciating the honesty. “But it’s not like I’m getting lost. It’s like I’ve finally been found.”
