When I open them, he’s still there, standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, his weight shifted like he’s not sure if he should step closer or give me space. His eyes are steady, though. Watching me.
“I can’t—” I start, my throat closing up on the words. I try again. “He’s right, Lee. Your brother’s right about me. I don’t know what the hell you’re doing letting me near you.”
Leander frowns, brow knitting. “You don’t mean that.”
“The hell I don’t!” I bite out, my voice ragged. “You saw him. You saw his face. He’s not wrong. Iamobsessive. Iama reckless piece of shit. I’ve been screwing up since I was a kid. You think that just changes because you… what? Said yes to being with me?”
“Phoenix—”
“No, listen to me.” My voice cracks on the edge of shouting, but I can’t hold it in. The dam’s broken. “Your brother’s not wrong to hate me. He’s not wrong to think I’m dangerous. Because Iam.Christ, Lee, you don’t know half the shit I’ve done. If you did, you wouldn’t—” My voice catches, breaking, and I choke out the last words. “You wouldn’t look at me like you do.”
For the first time, I look straight at him, and it’s a mistake. His eyes are locked on mine, wide and steady, and there’s no disgust there. No fear. Just… Leander. Always seeing me clearer than I want to be seen.
And that’s what undoes me.
My chest heaves, and suddenly the heat in my face isn’t just anger anymore. It’s wetness sliding down my cheeks before I can stop it. Tears. Angry, helpless tears I didn’t even know were waiting to fall.
I curse under my breath and turn away, scrubbing at my face with the heel of my hand. “Fuck. No. Not this.”
Behind me, there’s a pause, and then soft footsteps. Leander doesn’t say anything at first, just comes closer, slow and sure, until he’s right there at my side. His hand brushes my arm, tentative but grounding.
“You don’t scare me,” he says quietly.
My laugh comes out harsh, broken. “I should.”
“But you don’t.” His fingers tighten slightly, enough to make me stop moving. He waits until I turn my head, until I meet his eyes again through blurred vision. “Phoenix, I know who you are. I’veseenyou. Not the shit my brother read in some magazine, not whatever mistakes you made years ago. You.”
I shake my head, throat tight. “You don’t get it. He compared me to your dad, Lee. He wasn’t wrong. I—” My voice breaks again, and I press my fists against my eyes. “I don’t want to be that for you. I couldn’t live with myself if I ever became that for you.”
“You’re not him.” His voice is firmer now, cutting through my spiral like a blade. “You’re not my dad, Phoenix. You’re not even close.”
My breath hitches, uneven. “You don’t know that.”
“Ido.” He moves fully in front of me now, both hands coming up to frame my face, forcing me to look at him. His thumbs brush at the dampness on my cheeks, and for once I don’t try to hide it. His eyes search mine, steady and relentless. “Because my dad broke me down to nothing. You—” He swallows hard, his voice softer now. “You build me up. You make me feel alive. Andyeah, it scares me sometimes, how much I want this. But I know the difference. You’re not him.”
The words hit something deep inside me, something I didn’t even realize was raw until it split open. My chest shakes, and another tear slips free before I can stop it.
Leander doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t look away. He just leans in closer, pressing his forehead against mine. His breath is warm against my lips when he whispers, “I love you, Phoenix.”
Everything inside me stops.
For a moment, the whole world goes quiet—no rage, no guilt, no echoes of Silas’ accusations—just those four words hanging in the air, heavy and grounding.
I squeeze my eyes shut, swallowing hard, trying to steady the quake inside me. My hands come up, almost without thinking, to cover his where they cradle my face. His skin is warm, steady, real.
“You can’t just say that,” I murmur, my voice raw, breaking apart.
“I can.” He pulls back just enough to meet my gaze, his eyes fierce even with the softness there. “Because it’s true. I love you. And you don’t get to tell me what I feel.”
Something inside me cracks all the way through. My shoulders shake, and before I can stop myself, I’m pulling him in, arms crushing him against me like he’s the only thing tethering me to the ground. Maybe he is.
His hands slide into my hair, holding on just as tight. And for the first time in a long time, I let myself cry without trying to hide it, without swallowing it down into something sharp and violent. The tears come hot and fast, soaking into his shirt, but he just holds me through it, steady and unflinching.
I don’t know how long we stand there, clinging to each other in the middle of the kitchen, but eventually the storminside me starts to quiet. Not gone, not completely, but softer. Manageable. Because he’s here.
When I finally pull back, my face is blotchy, my eyes burning, and I feel wrecked. But Leander’s looking at me like I’m still worth holding, and that wrecks me all over again.
“I don’t deserve you,” I whisper.
