“Yeah, maybe you’re right,” I say, defeated.
I take a swing at the ball and then take a seat. I wasn’t up for this, and now I’m seriously not.
I sit down and stare out into the green landscape, watching as little white balls litter the grass. It’s funny how life is like golf – some swings are enough to put the ball in the right vicinity to the hole, while others end up in a sandpit, or water. The good times are sometimes few and far between while, many times, life deals us blows that we should expect but are not ready for. No one goes into this world – intolife– thinking they’re going to fail. It’s certainly not how I went into marriage.
Zealand joins me on the bench and says, “Ah, man. I’m already wiped out.”
“I’m not wiped out—just not feeling it. I think I’m going to pack it up.”
“I hear you, but listen, Brix—you can’t move forward in life if you’re still stuck in the past. It’s one thing if you want to repair what’s broken in your marriage, but if it’s over—if it’s really over—then why are you hanging on to it? To her?”
“You know why.”
“You still love her.”
“Of course I do. You know how I feel about Cyn. She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved and everwantedto love.”
“But that’s not helping your present set of circumstances. Your parents are coming to town. Ain’t no way you and Cynnamon repairing anything in that short amount of time. So, what are you going to do if she doesn’t agree to your lil’ plan?”
“That’s the question of the hour. I suppose I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”
He pats me on the shoulder – one of those friendly pats that tells me I’m going to need all the prayers I can get to deal with the situation.
And he would be right.
“What’s been up with you? Last I heard, you were obsessing over a woman on VideoTok.”
He grins. “I wasn’t obsessing. I was just admiring her attitude.”
“Her attitude must be better than just ordinary women you meet in your day-to-day activities, huh?”
“Just because she makes videos doesn’t mean she’s abnormal.”
“It doesn’t?”
“No. A lot of people do social media.”
“I’m just messing with you, man. Hey, if you like her, why not jump in her DM?”
“The funny thing is, she messaged me.”
“What?”
“Okay, well more specifically, she emailed the magazine. She wants to be featured, probably to help her brand.”
“Well, that’s your in.”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if I should.”
“Why not, man?”
“Because I like her already, so I already feel like there’s a conflict of interest.”
“Are you kidding? That’s not even close to a conflict of interest. She sent an inquiry. Just see how it plays out.”
“Maybe. I have to figure out something soon. I’ve been rereading her email for the last two weeks, and it’s been sitting in my inbox for longer than that.”
“You’re a smart man. You’ll figure out what to do.”
