Tears well up in her eyes. Her voice was already shaky, so I expected as much.
I explain, “I moved out back in January. Brix didn’t want y’all to know, so he asked me to come over here and pretend we were still together and happy.”
“Oh my goodness,” she says, dabbing her eyes with the fold of her index finger.
“He didn’t want to disappoint y’all, especially you, Faith.”
She shakes her head. “But why—why did you move out?”
“Because I wasn’t about to be anyone’s married, single wife. I would get off work and come here, eat by myself, watch TV, go to sleep, and he wouldn’t get home until the wee hours of the morning. And Faith, we talked about it. We sat down and had a conversation. He promised to do better, then I threw him that surprise anniversary party, remember?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“And he didn’t show up.”
Nodding, she says, “I remember that, too. I knew you were upset, but I didn’t know it had gotten this bad.”
“Yeah, so I rented an apartment, and I’ve been flying solo this year.”
“Do you not love him anymore?”
“Oh, I will always love him, Faith. I mean, I love him now. I don’t love that he prioritizes everything and everybody over me. He went above and beyond to make sure you and Dean were going to have a good week. He doesn’t give me that same energy and effort. And besides that, if I’m being real, I feel like you expect too much of him.”
“How so?”
“He’s an only child. Your only son. You expect a lot of him. I get that, but Brix does everything—and I mean everything—to please y’all, especially you, Faith. But that costs—it costs him his genuine self. He can’t necessarily do the things that feed his soul because he’s feeding you. I knew he didn’t want to be a doctor when we first met. He told me he chose the profession because it’s where the money was, but I knew that was a lie. You don’t become a doctor to get rich. That’s a lot of studying and stuff. He did it because when he was in high school, that’s all he kept hearing—that he was going to be afamous doctorand his life was going to be perfect. Granted, he loves what he does now—he’s good at it—but that job keeps him occupied to the point that it has become his life. Whether he’s with me or not, I don’t wanthim to live like that. It’s too much of a burden for anyone to deal with, especially when they didn’t want it in the first place.”
“You’re right. Everything you said is right, Cyn. I just—”
Tears come to her eyes. “You know every parent wants their children to do better in life than they did. I’m sure your parents wanted the same for you.”
“They did—still do—but they allowed me to choose what I wanted to do. I was always good at math, so I chose accounting. What was Brix good at when he was growing up?”
“Um,” she sniffles and squeezes tears from her eyes. “He was good at basketball.”
I smile and say, “He loves basketball, but he hardly ever gets to play. He used to be able to get with Zealand and some of the guys from work, but now…”
“I didn’t realize how hard I was pushing him,” she says, cutting me off. “I thought I was doing the right thing, making sure he stayed on the right track. I have to talk to him.”
“Me, too.”
“Do you think there’s a chance y’all can work things out?”
“That’s all I really wanted, Faith, but even more than that, I wanted him to want it more.”
“He loves you.”
“I know, and yet when I moved out, he didn’t come to my apartment not once to try to work on things. He was calling, but that stopped when I stopped answering. It just showed me that getting back with him would be more of the same ol’ same ol’. No effort. Broken promises…I didn’t want to be in this big house by myself all the time.”
Faith grins. “Chile, wait ‘til you been married for twenty-thirty years. You gon’ be glad to have the house to yourself. I know that for a fact.”
“Is that right?”
“Sho is! Dean’s been getting on my nerves. The older he gets, the more my head hurts. I love him, though. Besides, it’s too late to be trying to train another man. Who got time for that? Not me!”
I chuckle and then say, “I feel you on that.”
Faith reaches over, touches my hand, and says, “But think about what you can do to make your relationship work with Brix. He loves you dearly, and there ain’t another woman better suited for him.”
