I heard others whispering as I walked past but didn’t have time for anything. I went to my room, and once I was in the bathroom, I turned on the shower before I started stripping off my ruined clothing. We all learned long ago that it was simply easier to throw blood-covered shirts away instead of trying to get them clean. I tossed my shirt to the tile floor, then toed off my shoes and kicked them in the opposite direction. My slacks followed the shirt, and I leaned down to pull off the socks and briefs.
By the time I had the shirt and slacks in the trash and the socks and briefs in the hamper, the water was steaming above the shower door. I stepped in and closed my eyes, thinking about Abel. Such a sweet little angel. My world would devour him before spitting him out without a second thought.
He might have scented of the sweetest ambrosia, but I could never allow him to enter my world. I had managed to get a little bit of information out of one of the enforcers when I’d been there, and Abel had been an omega that had been rescued from a staging compound and had been on his way out of the country. That didn’t matter though. His abuse had already started, and from what I’d heard, Abel had never had a safe home environment. He had that now. I could never provide that for him, nor would I ask him to give that up for me.
I pushed thoughts of Abel away, knowing they would only lead to longing and that never brought anything good. It only ever put me in an even more foul mood, and according to the others in the coven, I didn’t need any help with that. If only they knew.
The water was running clear, which told me the blood had washed away enough. I ducked my head under the water and started my actual cleanup. It didn’t take long; it never didanymore because if I lingered in the shower, my thoughts would always turn to the little angel that I couldn’t claim and what all I wanted to do to and with him. Mostly to. The things…
I shook my head and grabbed the shampoo. That took my mind off Abel for all of a minute, and I gave in when I looked down at my neglected cock. It had been over a year since I’d slid into a willing donor with the intent to feed. I wrapped my soapy hand around my hard cock and started to stroke.
I closed my eyes, thinking about the beautiful blue ones of my mate and the adorable smile that I’d seen from afar. He had those perfectly pouty lips that were made to be wrapped around a hard cock. I slowly pushed my hips forward, imagining that my fist was Abel’s lips. It wasn’t the same, and I knew it, but it was all I would ever have, and that was good enough for me.
I thought about those eyes staring up at me under that floppy blond hair that begged to be grabbed while I moved in and out of his tight, slick hole. I suddenly found myself snapping my hips forward as I now imagined my cock sliding in and out of his tight ass. It would feel amazing—unlike anything I’d ever felt before.
It only took half a dozen thrusts of my hips before my balls pulled tight and a familiar tingling started under them. I shouted Abel’s name into the empty bathroom as I came, painting the tile with ropes of white cum. I grunted as I moved, trying to get every last bit out, and when my legs started to shake, I crossed them as I sat down on the shower floor.
I closed my eyes against the spray before I lay back on the tile floor and let the water pelt down on me. I felt better physically, but it wouldn’t take long for the regret to set in. It always did when it came to pleasuring myself to thoughts of my beloved.
I gave myself a few minutes before I sat up and then cleaned the shower wall. It wouldn’t do for me to leave a mess for whoever set about cleaning the rooms next. We all tried to beas neat and tidy as possible, simply because our jobs often were anything but tidy.
Once my mess was cleaned from the wall and floor, I gave myself a quick rinse and got out of the shower. I dried off before walking into my bedroom naked. It was somewhere around two or three in the morning, and although this wasn’t unusual for our line of work, tonight seemed to have gotten to me more than usual, and I simply turned off my light and climbed into bed.
Would sleep come? I didn’t know. Sometimes life was kind to me, and I was able to get enough sleep to help get rid of the dark circles under my eyes. Others, I had everyone in the coven staring at me until Vincent gave me a glare, and I knew I had to do something before he took matters into his own hands. We were probably getting there again. Not only did he glare at me tonight, but he’d also given me a verbal warning.
I would never cheat on my beloved, even though he did not know I existed. But I wouldn’t be going to one of the donors’ rooms to make even Vincent happy. I would drink from a glass, like I had for over a year now, and then we’d be good to go for a few more weeks. I needed to work on making sure I kept things business as usual. The last thing I wanted was for even more in the coven to complain about me. It reflected poorly on Vincent when his second was walking around with hunger in his eyes and yet refused to take a donor to alleviate the issue.
I heard the door open, immediately on alert. I scented Vincent before I could sit up and didn’t bother to do more than roll to my side. “Not interested,” I said. “I know you are probably meaning well, but whatever it is that you came to talk to me about, the answer is no.”
The bed near my feet dipped as Vincent sat on the side. “How do you know I’m not here to offer you a week’s holiday?”
I snorted and rolled to my back since Vincent hadn’t bothered to leave when I told him I wasn’t interested. “We both know I don’t need a week away to fuck and feed.”
“It’s working for Naldo and Mazzi. Why won’t you even consider bringing him here?”
I thought about my answer for a moment, and no matter how I tried, I couldn’t find anything that said yes, I needed to uproot my beloved and whisk him off to Italy. “Mazzi is Spanish. He’s from the general area and already used to our ways, and discovering he was fated with Naldo didn’t seem to faze him.” I sighed. “Abel isn’t Mazzi. He was abused by his family. He was raped by people much like us.”
“We don’t rape,” Vincent growled.
“No. We kill. We intimidate. We aren’t exactly honest people, Vincent. And Abel deserves to have a happy and calm life. My hope is that he will be gifted a much more fitting mate for himself. Someone who doesn’t do dirty work for a living.”
“You can leave the family,” Vincent said.
I blinked, staring up at the ceiling. Having the coven master offer such a thing, specifically a coven master that was also the head of the “family,” was unheard of. You didn’t leave the family alive. You left it like Benito did. “Are you telling me you’re going to send someone after me? Has it come to it? Or will you be the one who offs me?”
“I’m not going to kill you, Marcello. It hurts you would say such a thing.”
I rolled my eyes. “Vincent,” I said. “It’s somewhere around three in the morning. You just said to me not even an hour ago that I needed to fix myself. Well, there is no fixing it. I have to go on as I’ve been. You weren’t there. You didn’t see how sweet and innocent he was.”
“Are you certain he’s innocent? You said he’d been raped. That usually implies innocence has been lost.”
I hissed at my oldest friend. “Being raped and giving up that voluntarily are two different things. Abel wasn’t given a choice, and despite the years of abuse, he is still very innocent.” I clenched my hands into fists, closing my eyes and counting slowly.
“How can I help you, Marcello? You won’t claim him, you won’t take a donor any longer, you go too long between feeds, and you are continually walking around scaring some of the coven members.”
“I’ll leave. If it’s claim him or leave, I’ll go. I thought I had a family here, but if this is how it is?—”
“You know it’s not. I’m head of this family. I thought we were friends. How can I help?”
