***
My heart pounded as I drove Utahn’s hovercar to the medical center on Orez. He’d said it wasn’t comfortable for him in the driver’s seat anymore and had asked me to drive him there for his twenty-four-week checkup. I was happy simply to have the chance to go with him, with no idea how often I would be able to return before our baby was born.
Once inside, Utahn was required to fill out some documents about any pregnancy symptoms he was experiencing and concerns he had. When he reached the last page about payment options, I snatched the comm unit from him. “Let me take care of it. I want to help you wherever I can.”
He nodded, resting his hands over his belly. “Okay.”
I couldn’t tell if he was happy or upset about me taking care of him this way, but I filled the rest of the forms out anyway. As a space racer, my team paid into an insurance policy through the USRA for all of ORIXA and any immediate family. Most racers didn’t have family, but I now did, and I was going to make sure my mate and child were covered on any and every planet. I’d updated my policy the night I learned Utahn was pregnant, right after he’d fallen asleep.
Our appointment time came and went, and still we waited to visit with the doctor.
“This is normal with a baby doctor,” Utahn assured me.
Yet, I couldn’t stop my leg from bouncing with impatience. It was a habit I had that seemed to annoy everyone around me.
My mate rested his hand on my lap then suddenly clasped my hand and pressed it to his belly. “Do you feel that?”
I gasped when a tiny appendage pressed against my hand from the inside. It was our baby. “Yeah, I finally felt them move.” Many times since I’d arrived, Utahn had taken my hand in the same manner. Though our baby would always settle down when I touched my palm to my mate’s belly. Not this time.
“That’s a foot. They’re really moving a lot right now.”
My throat tightened, and all of my fears bubbled forward. Somehow, the movements I felt made Utahn’s pregnancy that much more real for me. How was I going to be a proper father? I had two amazing dads, but they had both been there for me and my brothers throughout our childhood. How was I going to make it work from another planet? I didn’t want my child to grow up resenting me for not always being there for them. Utahn and I really needed to talk about our future together.
“Utahn?” A nurse popped out from behind the door to the patient rooms.
I helped my mate gather his things, including a urine sample, before we followed the nurse down the hall.
We didn’t have to wait long for the doctor. She was exuberant, very bubbly, and pleased with how Utahn was doing, despite his complaints. They were all supposedly normal for how far along he was.
The doctor then had Utahn lie down and expose his belly.
“Wait.” I jumped out of my seat. “Utahn’s not supposed to be on his back during his pregnancy.”
Both my mate and the doctor chuckled.
“He’ll be fine for a short period of time,” the doctor assured me. “We’re actually going to take a look at your baby, get some measurements, and send you home with an image of the little one.”
And with a strange gadget that rolled over Utahn’s belly, I was able to see the first images of my child.
***
Ret tapped my shoulder from the seat behind me. “Wake up, Genj. We’re here.”
I wasn’t asleep, hadn’t been able to relax the entire shuttle ride to the planet where I worked. I was sad, worried, and completely torn. I knew the day I left Orez to return to Eurebly would be tough, but I didn’t expect the heart-wrenching feeling to stay with me for the entire trip. A large part of me had wanted to stay on Orez with Utahn, to help him and take care of him as he carried our child. Another part of me wanted to pack him up and take him to Eurebly with me. But I couldn’t ask him to give up his business, the same way he hadn’t asked me to stop racing. We got to do what we loved, but I felt that strained our love for each other, being on two different planets. Or maybe it made me want him more.
I stood and stretched my legs, tucking the printout of my baby in my pocket. Then I grabbed my carry-on, following Ret and Ilam out of the shuttle.
Though I was temporarily suspended from the team, my brother had arrived on Orez with our youngest teammate and my travel bag after our other brother told him Utahn was pregnant. I guess once I knew, everyone got to know.
They’d visited with family while there, and we took one day to speak to the trainees at Ojokun’s racing school about what it was like to be a racer and to rib our former teammate. But the end of their vacation—and my suspension—meant leaving my heart behind. And I didn’t know when I’d get a chance to return to Utahn. I planned to do so at the first opportunity.
Inside the spaceport, we located our luggage then headed out to catch a waiting hovercab. It wasn’t long before we were at the dorm. A place I wasn’t sure I wanted to be.
My teammates seemed to lag behind as we trudged down the hall. I simply wanted to get in and call Utahn. Make sure he was okay. I hadn’t been gone long, but worry had my gut twisted in several knots.
I waved my wrist in front of the scanner to open the door. Inside, I saw my teammates Xac and Qé, along with other racers we were friendly with. They cheered, blew sound horns, and held signs of congratulations with babies on them. Not the welcome I was expecting or hoping for. I would much rather have been chastised for making my team miss their last race than entertain this crowd.
Besides, I wasn’t a father yet. I had to ensure Utahn made it to the day of our child’s birth with no complications. From another planet. Stars, why did life have to be this complicated?
