When I arrived on Orez, I planned to make him stay in bed. I would take care of him and figure out how to bake and not ruin everything, simply to keep him off his feet. My family and his had already offered their help in the bakery and in taking care of our baby when they were born. But I wanted to make sure for myself that Utahn was taking things easy. I already had nightmares about losing both of them. I didn’t want that to become my reality.
I lay on the bed in my assigned room, resting my hands behind my head. Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine what it would be like to be a father. Holding my baby. Rocking them to sleep. Feeding them with a bottle.Wait!Utahn and I hadn’t discussed much about raising our baby. I didn’t want to tell him how to bring up our child when I wouldn’t be there all the time. Stars, I didn’t know much about kids at all. I don’t think I’d ever helped with either of Vawn’s daughters when they were really little. They made me nervous, like I’d hurt them if I touched them.
How would I be with our child? Would I drop them? Maybe it was best I wouldn’t be around them too much. How had Ojokun adjusted so well to being a father?
“Genj?” Ilam peeked into the room. “Ret says it’s time to go.”
I nodded, unsure how much time had passed while I was lost in thought. But I was no more prepared to be a father than I was before. Was there some way to train for the role? I trained almost every day to be a racer. Could I do the same to be someone’s dad? I would have to look into that.
Pushing off the bed, I headed out to join my team. Our team coordinator, Helena, was waiting for us in a hovercart outside the front door. The cases with our racing suits and other equipment sat in the rear while we piled into the empty seats. It was time to focus on the race ahead. We didn’t have to win, simply get enough points to qualify for the final event tomorrow. Easy. I could focus on that. I had to.
By the time I had my racing uniform on and stood below my jet, my thoughts had a new focal point. Winning. My adrenaline was already pumping. I couldn’t wait to cross the finish line. One more top ten finish before I became a father. Stars, I needed to do this.
“Ready, G?” Ret used my call sign over the private comm channel for our team, one he was only supposed to use for racing purposes.
“Let’s fly fast and hard.” I was as ready as I ever would be.
“All the way,” the rest of ORIXA replied.
I reached for the ladder and began to climb up to the cockpit.
“Wait!”
I paused at the interruption by Helena’s assistant. He rarely ever came onto our private channel. What was happening? Had the race been postponed?
“Ojokun wishes you all good luck. And Genj, you’re supposed to call him when the race is over.”
Ret growled over the comm. “That could have waited.”
Qé clucked their tongue. “Well, I’ll take Ojo’s wish of luck. Though we won’t need it.”
I hoped that was true, though my stomach dropped at the request to call my brother-in-law right after the race. That wasn’t normal. Something was going on. And for Ojo to want me to call him over anyone else likely meant it had to do with Utahn.Right?But if Ojo called, what was Vawn doing?
“G, are we ready?”
“Fast and hard,” I mumbled, nowhere near close to being focused on the race ahead.
I climbed the ladder then settled into my cockpit. After I powered up my jet, I tucked the image of our baby into the side console then stared at the readouts. I couldn’t make sense of any of them. Too many thoughts clouded my brain.
I squeezed my eyes shut.Please.I needed to keep my mind on the race. I could worry about the rest once I’d finished. When I opened my eyes, the digital staging screen was lit yellow. I had to go.
I ramped up the throttle, and, as soon as the screen turned green, I released the brake.
Only my jet didn’t react right away. There was a momentary pause before I finally shot off the platform. My team and many other racers were already well ahead of me. I had to catch up. Easy enough, since half the racers in this qualifying heat had been in the circuit for less than a star cycle. I rolled around some, shot past others who didn’t try to block me, and caught a couple by surprise when I flew under them. I was a racer. In the sky was where I felt at home. But I was going to be a dad soon. How was I going to make both roles work?
“G, stay on course!”
I gasped, startled back to reality by Ret’s voice. Readjusting my steering, I returned to where I was supposed to be. I’d fallen behind again.
I tried to get ahead, but the race was over before I had the chance to reach the top ten. Only five laps in a qualifying race. I could only hope the rest of my team placed well enough to give us enough points to make it into the final race. Otherwise, my team leader would be ready to kick me off the team.
I landed near our hangar, surprised our private channel remained quiet. I’d expected to get an earful after that dismal finish.
Brief static buzzed in my ear. Nope, Ret didn’t forget. I braced for my reprimand.
“Genj, Utahn is in labor right now.”
My heart stopped. It wasn’t my brother on the channel, but my brother-in-law. “Ojo, what do you mean? He’s not due yet.”
