Because deep down inside,her conscience whispered,you don’t completely believe it either. Not yet.
“I thought you were smarter than that,” Carlene muttered, crushing out her cigarette in the ashtray. “After everything Adam put you through, I can’t believe you’d be foolish enough to get involved with yet another man who has a wandering eye. I guess some chicks just never learn.”
“You’re one to talk,” Lexi shot back.
When her mother flinched, she felt a stab of guilt.
She should have known the retaliation would be swift.
“I don’t know how long you and Quentin have been dating,” Carlene said with malicious satisfaction, “but I should tell you that I saw him going into Wolf’s Soul with another woman two weeks ago.”
Lexi snorted derisively. “Is that the best you can do? Quentin always takes new clients to Wolf’s Soul for lunch meetings, male or female. But if he really wanted to sneak around behind my back, do you honestly think he’d be stupid enough to take his mistress to Michael’s restaurant, of all places?”
Carlene faltered for a moment, then shrugged. “Maybe he knows Michael would cover for him, the way they did for each other in college. Or maybe he just doesn’t give a damn. Rascals like him usually don’t. I’m telling you, he and that woman lookedmightycozy together.”
“I don’t believe you.” But Lexi hated herself for the kernel of doubt that whispered through her mind, hated the fact that she thought of Jocelyn and her topless photos.
Carlene’s eyes narrowed spitefully. “Mark my words. Quentin Reddick’s gonna make a damn fool out of you, just like Adam did. And when he does, don’t come crying to me, expecting sympathy and support. ’Cause I’ve tried to warn you that the man’s no good, but you refuse to listen! You keep choosing the same type of men—thewrongmen. And that’s why you’re never gonna be happy!”
“No! You’re wrong!” Lexi shook her head vehemently, resisting the childish urge to clap her hands over her ears to block out her mother’s taunting words. “You don’t know Quentin the way I do. He loves me. He would never—”
“Ask him,” Carlene dared her.
“I’m not asking him anything!” Lexi cried, her voice breaking because she knew her mother might be right about Quentin, and she couldn’t bear it.
“What are you so afraid of?” Carlene jeered. “Ask him about that woman he was with!”
“No!I won’t dignify your ridiculous accusation by repeating it to him. And I knowexactlywhat you’re doing. You’re deflecting, trying to change the subject so I’ll forget about my father. But it won’t work. I want answers from you, Ma.”
Carlene’s expression hardened. “You need to go.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you answer my questions! My father told me to ask you why he left us. Why did he say that?”
“Your father is a worthless—”
“What is he holding over you?”Lexi roared.
Pushed to the limit, Carlene exploded. “The fact that I almost killed you!”
Stunned, Lexi stared at her, feeling the blood drain from her head.
Several long seconds passed.
“I—I don’t understand,” Lexi finally managed in a choked whisper.
Carlene lunged to her feet, her face contorted with anguished rage. “You want to know why you’re so afraid of heights? Blameme!”
Suddenly Lexi didn’t want to hear any more. But she had to know. Had to know the truth once and for all. “What happened?”
Now it was her mother’s turn to stalk up and down the floor. “He came home drunk one night, reeking of sex and another woman’s perfume. It wasn’t the first time, not even close. But I’d finally had enough. You were only two years old. I had my hands full with you, and your father was no help whatsoever. So I’d made up my mind to ask him for a divorce.
“When he stumbled through the door that night, I confronted him about where he’d been and what he’d been doing. He got mad and defensive. We started arguing. Our yelling woke you up. At first I tried to ignore your crying, but you only got louder. Your father started cursing and shouting at me to shut you up. I kept screaming at him to get out, but he refused. Dug in his heels and said he wasn’t going anywhere. Something came over me, and I just snapped. I marched into your room and snatched you out of bed. The next thing I knew I was on the patio, dangling you over the railing. We lived on the tenth floor, so…we were up pretty high.”
Lexi stared at her in abject horror, nausea and dread churning in her stomach.
“I threatened your father, told him to leave or I’d drop you. He called me a crazy bitch, but he wouldn’t get out, wouldn’t back down. He wasdaringme to let you go. So I kept dangling you over that railing, and you were kicking your little legs and wailing in terror.” Carlene’s voice was raw, ravaged with pain and guilt. “Sometimes I close my eyes at night and I can still hear your screams in my head.”
Lexi sank weakly onto the sofa, her legs unable to support her.
