I laugh and as he turns, I stand up and throw my arms around him. There’s so much fear and uncertainty in my life right now that the solid feel of his body is reassuring. It tethers me to the world, and maybe it’s crazy, but he makes me feel like everything is actually going to be okay.
I look up into those blue eyes of his that have always managed to turn my insides to water. They still do. And I realize as we stand there, clinging to each other, the precariousness of the coming days weighing us down, I know that I can’t let him walk out the door without acknowledging these unspoken feelings between us. Maybe it’s selfish and I’m doing it for me, but I need to put them out there, regardless of what he says, or doesn’t say, in return.
“Last night was really special, Jacob. I just… I wanted to tell you how much it meant to me,” I say slowly, a flutter rippling through my heart. “I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me.”
He lowers his head and places a soft kiss on my lips. As he pulls back, I see the emotions in his eyes. He doesn’t even need to say a word because I know he feels the same for me. I can see it as plain as day.
“I’ve wanted to hear those words for a really long time, Kasey. I’ve missed hearing them. I’ve missed you. And yeah, last night was really special. You’re very special to me, and we’re going to get through this so I can spend the rest of my life making up for what I did… back then,” he says gently, his voice thick with emotion.
“The first thing we need to do is let go of… back then. All that matters is right now. And right now feels pretty amazing.”
He nods. “It really does. And you make me look forward to the future. It’s something I haven’t done in a really long time.”
We stand in silent contemplation for a moment. It’s only the sound of Bo whining that pulls us back to the here and now. I turn and see the big dog staring at me, his eyes shifting to the plate, then back to me. Jacob and I share a laugh.
“I told you he’d get a mind to eat your breakfast,” he says.
My smile stretches from ear to ear. “Go. And I’ll see you soon.”
Jacob kisses me again, then turns away and I swat him on the butt as he walks away, making him laugh. I sit back down at the table and listen to the sound of Jacob’s bike firing up. It’s rumbling fades into the distance as he rides off, leaving me to share my breakfast with Bo, who seems pleased.
After breakfast, I clean up and put the dishes into the dishwasher, then wander around the house for a while. I try watching TV, but nothing holds my interest. And after wandering around a bit more, then playing ball with Bo in the backyard, I realize I’m anxious and antsy. More than that, I’m terrified. The knot in my stomach is tightening, the discomfort unrelenting.
And I feel utterly useless. Jacob is doing all the planning and getting things smoothed over with his club, making me wonder if they even know what they’re going to be agreeing to, or if they understand the danger they’re walking into. The thought of any of them getting hurt because of me turns my stomach and fills me with a dread so powerful and oppressive I feel completely suffocated.
“I can’t do this all day,” I mutter to Bo.
That’s when I decide to do something. The very least I can do is get myself ready instead of sitting here like a lump, doing nothing, and expecting everybody else to do everything for me. That’s never been my style and never will be.
With the decision made, I take Bo back into the house, then quickly get my socks and shoes on. After I make sure the house is locked up and Bo’s door to his run is open, I give the big dog a scratch behind the ears.
“I’ll be back in just a few. Don’t tear anything up or pee on anything. You got it, mister?”
He licks my face, making me laugh. Using the spare key Jacob gave me in case I need to run out for anything, I lock up behind me and get behind the wheel of my Range Rover, pulling out of his driveway.
Twenty minutes later, I’m at my dad’s house, breathing a sigh of relief that he’s not home. I really don’t want to deal with another confrontation today. I’ve got enough on my plate as it is. I’m sure he has his guys keeping an eye out for my car. It won’t surprise me in the least if he already has an APB out on me.
I let myself in and walk into the kitchen. There’s a note on the refrigerator from him:I’m sorry we got so heated last night. We need to talk. Love, Dad.A small stab of guilt pierces my heart as I read his words. He doesn’t deserve any of this. He doesn’t have to be dealing with this garbage. And his life most certainly doesn’t have to be in danger.
All of this is because of Spencer. This is all his fault. My absolute hatred of that man is growing by leaps and bounds by the minute. But as I let the hate wash over me, I can’t help but feel some of it turn inward. It was my decision to quit school and marry Spencer… over my dad’s objections. If I’m being honest, there were enough warning signs even back then. Warning signs I chose to ignore.
Maybe I was still running from the memories and the pain when I met Spencer. Maybe I was still trying to dig myself out of the wreckage of my life and my heart. Maybe Spencer was just the wrong guy at the right time because I threw myself into him right away. Being with him allowed me to forget about how much Jacob had hurt me. At least for a while.
Tired of the self-flagellation and questioning my every life decision, I dash upstairs and empty out the drawers in the dresser and my closet. After that, I throw everything into my bag. I drag it downstairs and haul it out onto the porch, the memories of my flight from Spencer’s house—it was always his house and never mine—popping up in my mind again.
I drag the bag over to the back door of the Range Rover, using the key fob to disarm the alarm. Movement from the corner of my eye as I open the back door draws my attention and I turn to see a man step around the back of the car. He’s got short, dark hair, tawny skin, a neatly trimmed goatee, and he’s dressed in a nicely tailored suit. The adrenaline that surges through me is like a tsunami, so deep and intense, I feel like I might drown in it.
I know this man. I saw him in Spencer’s house. It’s Spencer’s cartel contact, the man who left the bag of money I stole.
“How are you today, Mrs. Deavers? Would you mind comin’ with me?”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kasey
When the hood is pulled off my head, I find myself staring straight at Spencer. He’s sitting in a chair on the other side of a roughhewn wooden table, a malevolent smirk on his face. I’m surprised I’m not restrained in any way. But I suppose it’s because they don’t see me as much of a threat. Which is fine. Let them underestimate me.
The wooden floor creaks behind me. Obviously, the man who took me is walking around and the soft beeping I hear is telling me he’s texting somebody. Probably Zavala. It’s a thought that sends a shudder through me as images of decapitated bodies in mass graves flash through my mind. Not the sort of thing I want in my head right now.
