“True,” I concede. “But you’re more quiet than normal.” It almost feels like a silly thing to say. Have I known Noah long enough for us to have a normal? But there’s definitely something different about him now. He’s more contemplative. Like his own thoughts are consuming so much of his energy, he doesn’t have any left for the outside world.
We walk in silence for several steps before he says, “That was my mom on the phone.”
“Ah. Tough conversation?”
I brace myself, ready for him to shut me down, but he surprises me when he says, “Not really. She’s just worried about me. And even though she tries not to say it out loud, I can tell by the tone in her voice that she is.”
“I mean, she’s in Italy and you’rehere.Can you blame her?”
Noah shoots me a sideways glance. “No, I guess not.”
“You could still go, you know,” I say. “Catch a flight. You’d be there before Christmas.”
“Nah,” he says. “I’ve got responsibilities here.” His steps slow as we approach the back stoop of the farmhouse. “Besides. If I leave, who will help you decorate for the reunion?”
I spin to face him. “You’ll help me? I’ve been meaning to ask you, but I wasn’t sure you’d want to. Or would have time with all the…” I glance back toward the barn. “The farm things.”
“Farm things?”
I roll my eyes. “Shut up. I don’t really know what it is you do around here. Animals? Apples?”
“Roadside rescues?” Noah adds, his lips lifting into a tiny smirk.
“You aren’t going to let me forget that, are you?”
A crisp winter wind swirls around us, and Noah pushes his hands into his coat pockets. “I do a little of everything,” he says. “But it’s Christmas. The farm things can wait.”
“It’s Christmas?” I repeat as I follow him up the steps to the back door. “What suddenly thawed the ice around your grumpy heart?”
He holds the door for me. “The text from Olivia threatening bodily harm if I didn’t offer my services might have something to do with it.”
I wait to respond until we’re both inside the kitchen, the door closed against the quickly decreasing temperature outside. “And here I thought you were determined to do the opposite of what Olivia wanted.” I take a step toward him. “Refuse to be set up. You stay out of my way. I stay out of yours.”
I’m close enough now that he has to look down to meet my gaze. “I did say that,” he says. “But then I tasted your homemade bread and decided some things are worth the sacrifice.”
I fight a smile, leaning forward the slightest bit. “So this is about the bread.”
“Yep.”
“Nothing else?”
His lips twitch. “Nope.”
“And you’re okay with me monopolizing yourentireafternoon with Christmas things?”
His jaw tightens like he might be reconsidering, but then he nods. “Whatever you need.”
I settle back onto my heels and consider his offer. I need his help, so I’m not going to argue. But I can’t quite make out his intentions.
Noah seems like a man at war with himself. He must want to spend time with me; otherwise, he wouldn’t be standing here volunteering his help. And he wouldn’t have asked me to go see the goats. No matter what he says about Olivia, he’s clearly a man who makes his own choices.
But he’s also holding a huge part of himself back. He’s here. But he’s notallhere. And I wish I could figure out why.
“Perfect,” I finally say. I take a huge step backward, needing a breath of air that doesn’t smell like Noah. “I’ll definitely need help moving the decorations from the storage closet upstairs. But the biggest thing is getting a Christmas tree. Will you drive me?”
He turns and looks through the window toward the parking lot like he’s checking to make sure the giant Stonebrook Farm pickup truck is still there.
“I’d do it in the rental car, but with the roads, I’m not sure that’s a very good idea,” I add.
