I’m finished with my soup and gazing into the fire when Noah appears one more time. I thought he might have already gone to bed, so it’s a surprise to see him. Wordlessly, he crouches in front of the hearth and adds another log to the fire, then sitsback on his heels and looks at me. “Do you need anything else? Or can I help you upstairs?”
“I’m not ready for bed yet, but when I am, I think I can make it on my own. My legs still seem to work okay.” I offer him a teasing smile, but his face doesn’t crack at all.
Apparently, the Doctor Hawthorne version of Noah is all business, all the time.
“You’ll probably have some bruising tomorrow,” he says. “Just take it easy.”
I nod. “Yes, Doctor.”
He flinches, and I immediately wish I could call back the words. “Noah, wait,” I say as he turns away. “I didn’t mean…” My words trail off, and he pauses and turns back, looking at me over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean that to be mocking.”
He pushes his hands into his pockets, eyes on the floor. “I know you didn’t.”
“I’m not going to push you to talk about it,” I say gently, crossing my fingers that I’m not about to make things worse. “But if youwantedto talk about it, I’ve been told I’m a very good listener.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he says a little too quickly. “Iwasa doctor, now I’m not anymore. It isn’t a big deal.”
I study him. The set of his shoulders. The visible tension in his jaw. “Respectfully, your body language is telling a different story.”
Something flashes behind his eyes. “Respectfully, it still isn’t any of your business.”
I can’t keep myself from wincing at his words, and something like remorse passes over his expression. But he doesn’t take them back.
“Got it,” I say softly. “Understood.”
Noah doesn’t say anything else. He just breathes out a sigh and turns and walks from the room.
When I came to Stonebrook Farm, I expected to spend Christmas alone, and I was okay with that. But after spending a few days in Noah’s company, his absence doesn’t feel like solitude; it feels like loneliness.
Like my heart is missing something it just figured out it wants.
Ten
The promisedsecond round of snow starts falling sometime around midnight. I’m still awake, trying to watch a movie and keep my mind off the broody doctor downstairs. But it’s hardly doing much good. Even though it’s the kind of movie I would normally love, I can’t follow the plot, and I keep having to pause and rewind to figure out what’s happening.
Noah’s a doctor.
That’s why he scoffed when he found out I just graduated from nursing school. He thinks Olivia chose me on purpose. Maybe because we would have something in common?
But what is he doing here? Not that it's hard to imagine why he might have quit. Especially if he was in emergency medicine. There are countless resources designed to help medical professionals deal with trauma and death and loss, but he wouldn’t be the first doctor to step away, if only for a time.
Then again, it can’t be all that uncommon for doctors to shift from regular practice to something else. Teaching, or research, maybe. But Noah was very specific when he said hewasn’ta doctor—not anymore. That’s not the kind of language you use when you’re shifting gears to focus on research.
I breathe out a sigh and reach for the remote. The couple on the TV screen who I thought were cousins just kissed. I’ve been struggling to follow the plot, but I didn’t think I wasthatfar off. Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow when I’m not feeling so distracted. Though with Noah around, I’m not sure that’s possible.
I lift the remote and aim it at the TV, but before I can turn it off, the screen goes black on its own, and the lights overhead flicker and then go out.
I hold my breath, waiting, hoping it’s just a fluke. A temporary glitch. But thirty seconds turn into a minute, then five minutes.
The power is officially out.
I toss my covers aside and pad across the plush carpet to the window. It’s snowing pretty steadily, adding an additional layer of white on the already blanketed ground.
At the edge of my vision, a beam of light flickers, and I crane my neck to watch as someone moves across the edge of the lawn, a flashlight dancing across the ground. It has to be Noah, since he emerged from the house, and I wonder where he’s headed, but I lose sight of him when he turns into the trees.
I sigh and head back to bed, where I retrieve my phone from the nightstand, using the flashlight to take myself to the bathroom so I can pee and brush my teeth. I’m already wearing my pajamas, but there isn’t much to them. Just a thin chemise with tiny spaghetti straps that only falls to my mid-thigh. I debate for a moment on whether I should add a few more layers. I tend to get hot while I sleep, but I love the weight of a lot of blankets, so I usually opt for tiny clothes and heavy covers. There’s definitely a slight chill in the air, but I think I’ll be fine once I’m in bed, so I climb back in and pull the covers up to my chin.
