So many thoughts run through my mind.
First and foremost: if I get a spot in the PICU nurse residency and Noah goes back to work, we’ll be working in the same hospital. Living in the same town. It’s almost too good to be true.
He nods. “The other thing I haven’t told you is I happen to know the nursing coordinator on the peds floor. She’s in charge of hiring, and I took the liberty of sending her an email.” His expression turns a little sheepish. “About you.”
My heart starts pounding. “You did?”
“I was very professional,” Noah says. “I just told her you come highly recommended by your program, and I know you personally and can vouch for your credibility as a person and as a nurse. It was only in the postscript that I told her how much I’d really like to be able to make out with you in the on-call room.”
I suck in a gasp “You did not.”
He grins. “You’re right. I did not. And I reallydon’tknow if my email will matter.”
“But you tried,” I say, suddenly feeling emotional. “It means a lot to me that you tried.”
Only then does it occur to me that making out with me in the on-call room would mean…
“Noah, are you going back to work?”
His expression shifts, his gaze dropping to the floor for a long moment. But then he looks up, eyes clear as he says, “I’ve been talking to someone really smart lately. And she made me realize it’s okay to be human. To make mistakes.” He takes a deep breath. “I have to do things differently. Find a better balance. And I meant what I said about talking to a therapist. But yeah. I want to go back.”
I dart off the chair and I’m back in his arms in a second, pulling him into the world’s biggest hug. Even when I pull away, he keeps me close, his fingers threaded through mine. “If you don’t get a spot in the PICU, I very selfishly want you to know there are other units at Northvale that are really great. And other hospitals in Charlotte. I’d love for you to be close.”
He squeezes my hands, and I close my eyes, needing a moment to think, to regroup, to assess thevery bigfeelings running through me.
Had someone asked me a week ago if I would ever move to a different city for a man, I would have laughed. But everything about this week has been larger than life. Our conversations, our kisses. It hasn’t been normal.
Maybe it’s the holiday or the snow or the isolation, but I feel like I’ve gotten to know him better in the past few days than I usually do through months of dating someone. I know without having to even think about it. For Noah, I’d move to Charlotte tomorrow. With or without a job.
It’s a completely irrational thought, and yet, it feels like the only possible choice.
I want to be with him.
Andfine.I would also like to have a job.
But he’s right. There are several hospitals in Charlotte. I could find work. I could find work and we could be together.
“I love that you’re going back. And we’ll work on balance together. I’ll need it too since wherever I end up working, it’s going to be all new for me. But can I make one more suggestion?”
Noah nods. “Of course.”
“I think you should talk to your dad, Noah. I really think he’ll understand.”
He takes a long, slow breath, then he lets out a little chuckle. “It sounds so easy when you say it. Makes me wonder why I’ve had such a hard time.”
“Everything is bigger inside our heads,” I say. “I think sometimes just saying our feelings out loud makes it easier to process and understand them.”
He holds my gaze for a long moment. “Will you really move to Charlotte?”
“If I can find a job, yeah. It’s where I wanted to end up anyway. You’re just a bonus.”
He grins, then pulls me in for another kiss.
“Our families are going to think we’ve lost our minds,” I say against his mouth.
He chuckles. “I don’t know. I think Olivia might be pretty happy.”
“So you’re giving her the win, then?” I ask. “Officially?”
