“Pretty far.” I know I’m going to have to give her something more than that, but I don’t want to go into all the sexy details. It’s private, and I like it being just between me and my guys.
“Pretty far or all the way?”
I want to hide my face so badly, but I have chip grease on my hands so I just pick at my sandwich crust and don’t say anything. My refusal to answer or meet her eye tells her all she needs to know.
She squeals and leaps off the bed to hug me from behind. “Congratulations!”
“It’s not a big deal.” Or at least, I don’t want to treat it like a big deal.
“If it was a big deal though, how big are we talking?” Ronnie slowly moves her hands apart in front of me.
Laughing, I slap her hands away so I can finish eating the sandwich she got me. She’s so ridiculous, and I love her for immediately making it a joke so I’m not feeling quite so put on the
spot. She always knows how to lighten the mood when I get too serious.
“No, it can’t have been that big,” says Ronnie in a fake shocked voice. “That’s two, maybe three feet.”
“Like I said, incorrigible.” I take a bite, hoping the conversation will drop and Ronnie will find literally anything else to talk about now that I’m home.
“Fun,” she corrects me again. “I’m fun.”
“If you say so.”
“I do.” She checks her phone. “Trevor is downstairs, so I have to go, but you eat up. I’m sure you need to refuel after all the calories you burned this weekend.” At the last minute before she closes the door behind her, she pokes her heads back in and adds, “With yourboyfriends.”
I throw another chip at her, but it bounces off the door as she closes it, and I can hear her cackling all the way down the hall.
That girl. I swear, her friendship is the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
All week, Ronnie has made no secret of her opinion that I should give the guys a true chance with a real relationship. Unfortunately, all her little comments are having the exact opposite effect. By the time the guys text me Friday morning about our weekend plans, I’ve already decided I’m not going to see them this weekend.
When are you coming over tonight?Lukas texts.
We could also pick you up if that’s easier, Elliot adds.
I’ve got an answer already prepared for this, something I know they’ll believe and respect.I’m actually really behind on homework and studying because we were gone last weekend. I’m going to have to stay home and catch up so I don’t jeopardize my GPA.
Ronnie keeps making a big deal out of them being my first, and how that makes them special and shouldn’t I give them a chance to really try dating, but the fact that they were my first is even more reason for me to hesitate. My mom was not my dad’s first, but he was hers, and she’s always let that give him entirely too much power over her, holding on so tight to him because as far as she’s concerned, he’s her one and only even if he doesn’t feel the same. I’ve seen how much that imbalance has fucked upmy mom’s life. I’m determined not to let that happen to me. I might have let them screw me, but there’s no way I’m going to let them screw me over.
You could do homework here, Sebastian protests.
Elliot tries to bribe me my appealing to my stomach.We could all work in the dining room and you’d have plenty of snacks.
And good coffee, adds Sebastian.
We could pick you up after our poker game so you’d have a little bit of alone study time and then we could do the group study time, Lukas suggests.
I really need to be able to need to focus for this stuff.So it’s better if I stay home.
Felix has a solution for that.Is it math? We can help if it’s math.
No, it’s a research essay for history.I’ve done the research already and I feel bad lying to them, but this is the only way I can think of to get them to let it go. It’s not that I don’t want to see them, it’s just complicated.
What about if we just have a small movie night on Saturday?Elliot offers.
Your brain will need a break, says Sebastian.
