‘Yet,’ Derek's voice rose slightly, breaking the spell, ‘it is in acknowledging our fears, confronting them, that we find our true strength.Fear can either be a barrier or a gateway to understanding ourselves better.’Derek turned his attention to an elderly woman sitting beside Ella.‘Martha, stand up.’
The woman obliged and rose with a speed that belied her years.'Yes, Mr.Graham.'
‘Less of the mister,’ Derek said as he took her hand.‘Martha here is nearly seventy years old, and for decades you suffered from what?’
‘Fear of flying.’
‘Martha here never saw the world, never stepped on a plane.Until last month, she’d never been further than Glendale, but what did you do last month, Martha?’
The woman clenched her fist like a boxer.‘I went skydiving.’
‘You hear that?’Derek asked the room.‘This woman jumped out of a plane.She looked her crippling fear dead on and saidnot today.’
Martha's eyes welled up with tears.Derek, seizing the moment, stepped forward and wrapped her in a reassuring embrace.The room broke out in a soft applause.A part of Ella was happy this woman faced her fear, but another part of her wanted to roll her eyes.
When Martha sat back down, Derek's gaze landed on Ella.
'And today, our friends, we have a newcomer.We haven't spoken at length so I don't know your reasons for being here, but please, Miss….?'
‘Ella,’ she said.
‘Ella.Would you like to introduce yourself?’
Goosebumps prickled her skin, and not just because it was pretty cold in here.She'd known this was coming, but that didn't make it easier.She looked around the room and said, ‘Hi everyone, my name’s Ella D… Darby, and I’m here to help overcome….some issues.’
Derek nodded encouragingly.‘We believe in the power of community here.Sharing can be a cathartic experience.Would you be willing to tell us more about these issues?Remember, you're among friends.’
She stood up, suddenly feeling like a kid in a class doing a presentation she hadn’t prepped for.
Fear of insects.Simple, common, believable.
‘Well, for years now, I’ve been struggling with…’
The word wouldn't come.
Ento, enpho, entho.
She couldn’t think of it, nor could she just sayfear of insects.It needed to sound real.
She felt twelve pairs of eyes burning her; the eleven group members and Derek.She also spotted a few people, presumably church workers, coming and going in the hallway outside.
The room fell into a hush, and at that point, her subconscious betrayed her.
‘Needles,’ she said.‘I'm afraid of needles.’
Derek leaned back in his chair.‘Trypanophobia.Very common.Tell us about it.’
Ella's mind filled with images she'd spent years trying to bury.She could have lied.Could have invented a childhood story about a bad doctor's visit.But the words came before she could stop them.
‘My mom...she had MS.Multiple sclerosis.It started right after I was born, and… first she needed a cane, then it got worse.’
Derek scrunched his face up.‘I’m very sorry to hear that, Ella.’
The wound was open and Ella couldn’t stop the blood from flowing.
‘She was in and out of hospital all the time, and then it progressed rapidly.I was only about three, so I didn’t understand why my mom couldn’t do anything.Then my dad had to… inject her.With her medications.’
Derek said, ‘That’s good.Only continue if you’re comfortable.’
