This simple act shattered her will, demonstrating far more powerfully than with words that he loved her,lovedher, in exactly the way her mother had described. Not in spite of her differences, but because of them. There was no going back after this, no matter what their bodies shared. Fern was certain she would never love again after Alex, and the thought did not sadden her but filled her with an overwhelming thrill. To experience love, so pure and rare, one most people on earth would only glimpse. She would have one night of the greatest joy imaginable.
Alex’s lips seared a path across her collarbone and trailed over the curve of her breast and ribs, then drifted over the soft skin of her belly. Fern’s hips arched towards his fingers as they traced along her hip, across her thigh, and settled in the space between her legs.
She gasped as his finger slid along her crease and he paused, waiting for her to respond. “Do you like this?” he asked again, meeting her gaze over the heaving swell of her breasts.
Fern could only nod, robbed of speech by the riotous sensations pouring from one little finger. How could it be possible for every nerve in her body to be focused on those few inches of skin? He continued to explore her, stroking and soothing her slick heat, even as she felt like she may burst at any moment. She marveled at his touch, the power it held to completely undo her and leave her craving more. The moment she built up the courage to ask for it, he pulled his touch away. Her eyes popped open as she began to protest, only to feel his lips caressing the space his fingers had vacated.
“Alex!” she hissed, unsure if she was protesting or praising his actions. Apparently understanding her meaning, he gently lapped his tongue over her sensitive flesh, the scratch of his stubble abrading her upper thighs while he kissed and sucked her intimately. She lost all control, all sense of reason as the ache inside her built, twisting and flexing until she was desperate, unable to control the wanting she felt even though she lacked the words to describe it.
Just as she feared she might perish from this overwhelming ache, he pressed his tongue deep into her. She unraveled as she arched her back, her guttural cry echoing in the rotunda, bouncing like the flickers of light off the marble columns, her body pulsing with indescribable ecstasy.
Fern was only partially aware of Alex back at her side, holding her close to his chest as she trembled, the aftermath of her climax still ricocheting through her body. Alex stroked his warm hand over the chilled flesh of her back, making her shiver. He kissed her softly across her nose and temple and brushed his lips over her eyelids until they fluttered open.
She stared at him in wonder and he treated her with a brilliant, if somewhat self-satisfied, smile. “I’m beginning to understand why you recommended I think less,” Fern said, brushing a soft kiss across his lips.
“I doubt anyone has ever asked you to thinkmore,” he replied.
She laughed as she burrowed her face against his chest, savoring the feel of the coarse hairs on her cheeks. Alex touched his fingers to her chin, lifting her mouth back to his as he kissed her with renewed intensity.
The indescribable ache returned, clawing at her even more intensely than before, although now Fern had an idea of how to soothe it. She also knew Alex. He would let her control every moment of the evening, ensuring she was satisfied even if it left him wanting.He deserves more.
Unpracticed and fumbling, Fern brought her hands down his chest to his trousers and popped open the top button. His hand caught hers before she could go any further. “I need to know,” he gasped. “I need to know you are absolutely certain you want to do this. Because I—” He released a low laugh and pressed his forehead against hers. “I have wanted this for longer than I’m proud to admit, and I will stop whenever you wish, but—”
“I don’t want to stop.” Fern did not expect to hear such conviction in her voice, nor did she anticipate feeling it so deeply in her soul. This would be her farewell to Alex. After tonight he would be gone, and she would have to find her own way. Her heart clenched, and she fought the sob threatening to tear from her throat.
“Where did you go just now?” Alex watched her closely, as though he could read her thoughts.
She pressed her lips to his. “Nowhere,” she said. “I’m right here with you.” Their kiss deepened as she released one button after the other.
A low, feral grunt escaped Alex’s throat when she finished her work, pressing his hips forward against her hand. Fern’s breath caught in her throat at the feel of his length, hot and heavy in her palm. She had of course read descriptions of a man’s arousal, but her visualizations had been heavily influenced by classical sculpture which was, she had now learned, inadequate. The reality was somewhat more intimidating.
“Fern.” She jumped at his voice, despite the soothing tone, and met his cautious gaze. He must have sensed her apprehension because he began to pull away from her.
“No, don’t,” she insisted. “I was surprised—”
“I need you to trust me to take care of you,” Alex said, the plea in his voice enough to make her heart beat even faster. “I will always take care of you, for all my life.”
Fern knew it was a lie and was certain Alex knew it too. They would never have each other, would never be the person the other could depend on for eternity. But for that night, in the magical microcosm they had created in the rotunda, it was the truth. Their lives together would begin and end in the span of a few hours, while the world slept, unaware of how her entire universe had changed. “I know,” she whispered, unsure if she voiced it aloud or let her hands tell him.
Because she had reached for his waist, helping him shrug his trousers and drawers down past his knees and off completely. Rolling to her back, Fern welcomed his weight as he shifted over her, settling between her thighs as he kissed her, leaving her delirious and wanting. The heat of his arousal pressed against her opening, prodding where his lips and tongue had been only moments before.
“My love,” he voiced, and the words nearly shattered her on the spot. “This may hurt. I haven’t been someone’s first before, but my understanding is—”
“I know.” Fern didn’t know. She had no idea, in fact, other than what her oldest sisters had said about the marriage bed, describing it as tolerable and somewhat uncomfortable but over with soon enough. Nothing about what she experienced with Alex could be described as merely tolerable, and the agony in his eyes at causing her pain nearly made her weep. “I trust you.”
In one slow movement, he edged into her, rocking himself into her flesh. His breath was harsh against her neck. “Breathe, darling, I’m here,” Alex murmured, and her body released a modicum of tension until he reached resistance, her body resisting his entry. His jaw clenched, neck straining as he battled to hold still.
Fern knew he wouldn’t move, he could never bring himself to hurt her. In a flash she considered ending things there, stopping him before he bound himself to her with this act, knowing she would eventually cause him far worse pain than she was about to endure.
Fern held his hips tightly and bucked against him.
He pushed deep inside her as a bite of pain rattled her body. Alex moaned, dropping his head into the space between her shoulder and neck as tears pricked her eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” he breathed, his voice catching. “Are you hurt?”
She shook her head. “It’s nothing, it—it’s uncomfortable but already fading.”
Alex kissed her lips, her nose, her temple, as he began to move inside her. A new sensation overwhelmed her, a counterbalance to the ache she had felt, a remarkable fullness stretching and soothing her simultaneously.
