“Liar. You can’t stop looking at her whenever you’re in the same room. And don’t pretend we didn’t interrupt the two of you having a moment last night.”
Guilt, hot and thick, rose from his gut and threatened to choke him. “It was a mistake.”
“I disagree. She’s pretty, she’s clever, and she seems to be attracted to you.”
“No, she isn’t.” Heat licked up his neck with the lie, then became a caress as he remembered the feel of her body pressed against him.
Cass scoffed. “What part are you objecting to? And trust me when I say I know when a woman is attracted to someone.”
“It doesn’t matter. There are lines I won’t cross.”
A low laugh rumbled in Cass’s chest. “Why do you hold yourself to such a ridiculous standard? You’re human, and you deserve—”
“I don’t deserve anything,” he interrupted. “After how I spoke to her, I don’t deserve her attention.”
Cass released a long-suffering sigh. “What did you do?”
He told her everything, from kissing her outside his door to his crude words and callous dismissal of her desires, and Cass shook her head.
“This is why you don’t talk much, isn’t it?”
With a low oath, Ben dragged his hand through his hair. “So it’s not an issue anymore. She won’t want anything to do with me, and I won’t have to…”
“Get over your wife?”
Ben stopped in his tracks and stared at her, his lips parted.
Cass faced Ben, taking both of his hands in hers. “It’s been three years now?”
“Four,” he said, closing his eyes.
“And you’ve had relationships with women since then.”
Guilt churned in his gut. “Nothing serious. No feelings were involved.”
That would not be the case with Rose. The air between them was a minefield of emotions, his past having laid traps for both of them at every step.
“I’m not saying you need to fall in love with her,” Cass said, “but wouldn’t Aiko want you to be happy?”
He expected a slash of pain at hearing the name, but it never landed, merely an ache, like pressing on a healing bruise. Was he forgetting her already? “I won’t be unfaithful—”
“She’sgone, Ben. You can’t be unfaithful to a ghost.”
He pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. What would happen if he let Aiko go? Who would he become?
Could he respect that man, or would he resent him?
“I’m not saying you should forget her,” Cass said. “But why not see if you’re ready to move on? In three weeks, Rose will be on a different continent. What harm would it do to experience some pleasure again before she leaves?”
Cass, of all people, should know the pain that seeking pleasure caused. How many women lost their children or their own lives in childbirth? How many daughters were cast out of their homes for loving the wrong person?
“If Rose were willing to speak to you again,” Cass said, “and you’ll be lucky if she does, would you let yourself find some comfort in her?”
Ben’s love had only caused harm in the world, but perhaps Rose could bring him the relief he desired. She would be gone in a month; how much damage could she do to his heart in a few weeks’ time?
“Yeah,” he said finally. “I’ll try.”
Chapter 14
