Christ, his jaw clenched so tight just opening it to speak sent shockwaves through his skull. He stormed out of the bedroom, fear nipping at his heels.
She had put herself into the line of fire, in a city where men lacked morals and would not hesitate to harm a woman if she came between them and the status they desired. The pulse in his ears reached thunderous volumes, drowning out his own thoughts. “He could find you, Rosie. Men like that love power too much to risk losing it, and you—”
“Ben,stop!” Rose grabbed his hands and stilled them, and Ben realized he had been swinging them around wildly. “I’msafe. I’m here with you. You will keep me safe.”
“I can’t.” His fingers trembled as she interlocked her digits with his, and she pressed her lips to his forehead, then his mouth. “I can’t control what happens around you, what happens to you.” Ben shook his head, his vision blurring at the edges. “You can’t leave the apartment, you have to stay—”
She pushed back out of his grip. “I don’t want to be locked in here all day.”
His hands twitched with the urge to hold her, to pull her close and tuck her away from the hideous, cruel world around them. “But if you go out, something could happen—”
“I’m not a princess you can lock away in a tower, Ben!” Her eyes blazed as she fisted her hands and held them firm at her side. “I want my adventure, my own place in your world. I want to fight by your side and create something good, then come back and lick my wounds.”
He shook his head, his shoulders slumping. “I’ve told you before that I’m not a prince.”
Rose stepped forward and cupped his cheeks, pressing her forehead to hers. “No, you’re not. You’re a knight. And I’m a…” Her nose wrinkled. “What do you call a woman knight?”
He laughed, the sound choked and rough as the tightness in his throat released just enough to breathe again. “I don’t know, Rosie. Is there such a thing?”
“Of course there is,” she scoffed. “I am one.”
Ben collapsed against her, his nose burning with unshed tears as his hands swept up and down her back, wanting to memorize her and possess her in a manner he had not earned. “I can’t, Rose…”
“What can’t you do?”
He shook his head and stumbled, falling into the leather chair he had purchased when he was putting his life back together, when he thought a material possession and constant occupation could fill the hollow places in his soul.
Rose watched him carefully, then pulled her shift up to her knees, her stockinged thighs straddling him. She cupped his cheeks and kissed his temple, his cheekbones, the tip of his nose. “Ben, what can’t you do?”
“I can’t survive if something were to happen to you, Rosie.” He pressed his eyes closed, unable to bear the sight of her, so perfect and impossible in his world. “I’m not strong enough.”
His throat burned as she pressed her mouth to his. And Ben was greedy, perhaps shortsighted, but his body and soul needed the comfort she could provide, the relief that would keep his fear at bay for another day.
Rose held his gaze for a long moment and sucked in a shaky breath, as though her heart lay too close to the surface as well. “Do you want me to stay? Because I’ve decided. I’mherewith you, Ben. You have given me everything I never knew I wanted.”
With a wry laugh, Ben shook his head. “But I can’t keep you safe here. How can I give you what you deserve?”
“Do I deserve to be loved?” Her voice shook and her eyes blazed. Lord, she was too beautiful to be real. “To be surrounded by people who want me for who I am, not how I look? To have a purpose, a drive to be part of something bigger than myself?” A single tear fell and cascaded over her cheek. “I haveeverythingI deserve, right here with you.”
Did he dare believe what she said? Could their fairytale come true? “But you’re supposed to be married—”
“I’m not marrying Timothy,” she interrupted, her lips spreading into a wide smile. “He and I will both be better off for it.”
Hope bubbled in his chest and threatened to spill over. “And your mother and father?”
“I’ll cable them in the morning. They’ll be angry but…” She pressed her forehead to his. “I love you, and I don’t know what to do next, but I know I—”
Ben cupped the nape of her neck and pulled her into him, capturing the words on her lips. He must be dreaming, because he could never be this goddamned lucky. “I love you, Rosie,” he whispered, a laugh bursting from his chest with the words. “I was terrified of it, but I’m not anymore.” He kissed her again and smiled. God, how long had it been since hesmiledlike this, since he felt so free? “Because I’m keeping you.”
She giggled and kissed him back. “Who’s the greedy magpie now?”
“Better than being a troll.” He caught her lower lip in his teeth, nipping tenderly before sweeping his tongue in her mouth.
“Or a goat,” she breathed between kisses.
He moaned low in his throat. “Again with the goats? You’re distracting me.”
Rose whimpered and gripped his shoulders as he razed his teeth along her neck. “From what?”
