Callum stepped closer, then hesitated. His entire body tensed as though he was unsure if he should touch her or run away. She wasn’t sure which one she wanted, either.
“I understand why ye want to be done with it. Ye’re brave to start over like this.”
She snorted. “Foolish, more likely. But perhaps what comes after this party will be my new beginning.” She allowed herself a moment of silence before nodding at him. “Come look.” She motioned to the telescope and adjusted the position once more. “You can see Cygnus clearly tonight.”
He hesitated a few steps from her. “Not Kevin, I hope.”
“No, but I have a pocket full of grapes in case he appears. Would you like to see?”
He eyed her cautiously, no doubt worried she’d ask him to dance again. “I could see it before. Stars in a cross, aye?”
She gestured to the telescope and fought the urge to smirk. “Just look and tell me what you think.”
He had to bend comically low to put his eye to the lens, but she could see the moment the constellation came into clear view. His breath caught, and she chuckled when he reared back, squinted at the sky, then looked through the telescope again.
“The star at the top is Daneb, one of the brightest in the heavens.” She checked the detailed notes she’d taken in her journal below her sketch of the constellation. “In India, the Hindus consider the time when Cygnus is visible to be holy and use it to meditate. The Greeks had several myths devoted to it.”
Callum stood and glanced at the journal. “How do ye ken all this?”
She shrugged, the urge to dismiss her studies battling the desire to impress him with her knowledge. “I have always enjoyed mythology, and the constellations seemed a natural interest. I’ve supplemented what I observed myself with what I could find in my father’s library. This—” She picked up the book and closed it, suddenly self-conscious of her pastime, “—this is somewhat of a personal textbook.”
He took the journal and thumbed through the pages with a sense of reverence that made something in her rib cage glow. “How long have ye been working on this?”
“After… well, after what happened last year, my mother encouraged me to find something to do with my hands, to keep me busy. I suppose I kept up the hobby.” Her existence would forever bedivided into abeforeandafter, with a profound loss as the defining moment in her life.
“This is more than a hobby.” He stepped closer, tapping a finger on the leather cover before passing the journal into her hand. “Ye’re a scholar.”
She barked a laugh. “Far from it.” She paced past him to peer through the lens. If she looked at his earnest expression for another moment, she might kiss him. “But once this party is over, I want to buy my own telescope, though nothing as grand as this. I have a bit of money saved, and I’d love to teach other girls about the stars. Perhaps there is a school that would take me on as a teacher.” She glanced over her shoulder to where he stood. “Assuming we can manage to ruin me.”
“Is that what ye’ll do? After?”
Would this be another division in her life? Another lightning strike in the sand, a permanent rift in the surface of her existence? “It is. I’m not sure I’ve been able to articulate exactly what I want, only what I don’t.”
“But ye want love.”
Her eyelids dropped shut as she nodded. “It sounds foolish to hear you say it.”
When Callum didn’t respond, heat rushed to her cheeks and she turned away, feigning sudden fascination with the broad, waxy leaves of a plant she dearly hoped wasn’t poisonous.
“Violet, I came to tell ye that I—” She whirled to face him, but he’d cuffed his hand on the back of his neck. When he turned back, his expression was tortured. “I cannae ruin ye.”
Her stomach fell, her mouth working for a moment before she forced out a weak, “Oh.”
He stepped closer, lifted a hand, but then dropped it. “It’s not ye, it’s—” He cursed. “James, he’s—I cannae do anything that will put him at risk.”
“And your being associated with me puts him at risk?”
“No, that’s no’ what I’m saying.”
He wouldn’t meet her eyes, and a flare of fury lit in her breast. “Then what are you saying? How am I dangerous to your cousin?”
He heaved a sigh. “It’s complicated.”
“I’m clever. Explain.”
He tossed up his hands. “I ken ye’re clever. But if I ruin ye, Valebrook could ruin me.”
Cold bands wrapped around her chest, forcing out a humorless laugh. “Of course. Money is more important than helping a woman you barely know.”
