His uncharacteristic peevishness startled her. “Content is perhaps a more apt adjective, but it’s always been like this. Some find love.” She nodded towards where Bridget and Valebrook spun on the dance floor, looking smitten. “But the rest of us settle for contentment. There are worse fates.”
“Then I take it you’re seeking contentment with Sir Phineas?” He spat the last words with venom.
“He will take care of me.” Her gaze shifted to where the baronet stood with a cluster of other men at least a decade his senior, as though he’d already consigned himself to dotage. “And I won’t be a burden to my family any longer.”
“What happened to finding your true love? To uncomplicated shags and blissful spinsterhood?”
Her throat burned, and for a horrible moment she worried she’d throw herself to the parquet floor, sobbing that she’d found love in what she’d thought would be a straightforward shag. That spinsterhood held no more appeal than marriage, now that she knew what she’d lost.
She cleared her throat. “It seems I was right. I am terrible at uncomplicated feelings towards a man.”
He hummed low in his chest. “Perhaps we should form a club.”
Was she imagining the catch in his voice? When she swung to face him, Timothy blinked rapidly, his eyes still misted. “Oh no, Timothy. Did you fall in love with the footman?”
“What footman?” He shook his head. “Andlove? For god’s sake, Vi, you do love Callum!”
“We’re not talking about me,” she hissed. “You’re in love, Timothy! I never thought it would happen!”
“Neither did I.” His expression softened, and Violet’s heart swelled with affection.
“Does he feel the same way?”
He flattened his lips and shrugged, as though his heart wasn’t visibly breaking apart. “I suspect he might, but he left, and I’m not sure if I should follow.”
Violet pressed her palm to her forehead as understanding dawned. “I’m such an idiot.”
Timothy chuckled, although it lacked mirth. “I wondered how long it would take you to figure it out. But I fell in love with James so quickly…” He trailed off with a shake of his head.
“I can’t believe I missed it. I’m so pleased for you, though.”
“James is…” He sighed. “I wanted it to be mindless, but I couldn’t with him. He saw through everything I did to push him away, then actually liked what was beneath.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“I’ve spent my entire life hiding myself, wondering whom I can trust. Can I be faulted for carrying those scars like armor?”
She placed her hand on his forearm, squeezing gently. “Of course not.”
He emptied his lungs and a wry smirk curled his lips. “We never had the chance to talk about what would happen next, if anything. Then he just… left.”
“Edinburgh is not so far from Oxford,” she offered, suddenly desperate to find a solution for their predicament, to clear the path for their love. “And you could be together when you’re not in Parliament.”
“I wish it were so simple. But I can’t stand the secrecy, the hiding, the constant fear.” He swiped at his eye, then glared at his hand as though the tear had insulted him. “This is dreadful, Vi. I have feelings I can’t make fun of. Disgusting.”
She laughed, tugged him to her side by his arm. “You’ve fallen in love.”
“I have, but it doesn’t matter if he—”
Timothy stilled, his entire body were primed for flight and eyes locked across the ballroom. Violet cursed her lack of height yet again as she strained to follow his gaze, knowing what she would find. James stood in the doorway, looking dapper in white tie and crisp tails, scanning the room for a quick moment before locking on Timothy.
Her friend laughed, incredulous, then swung his attention back to Violet. “He’s here. I-I can’t believe he…”
“Just go,” she said, giving him a gentle push on the shoulder, her heart swelling as she fought back her jealousy. “I’m happy for you.”
Timothy beamed and took a step, then stopped, facing her again. “I’m sure Callum returned as well.”
She blinked away the rush of emotion that pushed at her eyes and waved her arms in a shooing motion. “Don’t worry about me. Go get him.” As she watched him move through the crowd of dancers and revelers, saw James’s expression brighten at Timothy’s approach, she allowed herself a single moment of melancholy. Callum was never far from his cousin, and yet his broad figure did not loom in the doorway, sipping whisky while he glowered at the festivities.
