Something sharp twisted in Lily’s chest. “Are you…”
“No.” Rose shook her head firmly. “Ben isn’t ready yet.I’mnot ready yet. Besides, we’re so busy with the suffrage society, I don’t know if there will ever be a good time.”
Fern stroked her daughter’s hair from her forehead. “There is never a perfect time, but I’ll be there when it is.”
Lily smiled, though envy prickled behind her sternum. “How fortunate you are to live on the same side of the ocean.”
“New York isn’t that close to Boston,” Fern peeked at Rose, “but I’ll try to visit when I’m not in classes.” Rose laid her hand on Fern’s.
“It’s wonderful to see you like this,” Lily managed through the ache in her throat. “After everything that happened.”
The twins exchanged a knowing glance that raised the hairs on Lily’s arm. “About that…” Rose shifted and stretched her long legs out in front of her. “We were hoping we could talk to you about what’s happening with Philip.”
Lily crossed her arms over her chest. “What about him?”
Another shared glance, and Lily’s irritation climbed. Rose cleared her throat. “I knew Timothy had seen him in Paris.” She spoke in a rush when Lily sucked in an outraged breath. “But I didn’t know he’d be here for Christmas!”
She shouldn’t be surprised. Rose and Timothy had always been close, but this stung like yet another betrayal. “But you knew he was…” She fluttered her hand in front of her, then dropped it back to her lap when she noticed it was trembling.
“I only knew Philip might be here, not…” She winced. “Everything else. Why he was away.” Rose’s emerald eyes were pleading. “Ihated not telling you, but Timothy was right. Philip needed to explain his circumstances himself. He has explained, hasn’t he?”
Lily’s nod was unnatural, as though her body had forgotten how to manage basic actions. “He has. But I don’t know if I can forgive him.”
Fern looked up from the baby. “Why not?”
“After what he did?” Lily scoffed. “Hehurtme.”
Rose snorted a laugh and attempted to smother it with her fingers. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t appropriate. But you do realize who you’re talking to, don’t you?”
“Whom,” Fern muttered, then winced. “Apologies. Also not appropriate, but grammatically correct.” She gestured between herself and her twin. “I stole the man who was courting her, and she turned the family against me.”
Rose pulled her knees up to her chest. “I missed your wedding.”
“I missed yours.” Fern rolled her lips between her teeth and exhaled through her nose. “And I regret all of it, how everything happened. But fortunately, you forgave me.”
“Of course I forgive you.” Rose gave a watery grin. “You’re my sister. And besides, can you imagine if I’d marriedAlex?” She released her knees and shuddered dramatically, and Fern laughed. Emily, now asleep against her chest, squawked her displeasure but immediately settled.
The moment of levity did nothing to settle Lily’s ire. “What Philip did isn’t the same. You’re sisters, and he’s…”
“Your husband,” Rose said. “I’m not excusing what he did, but he had good reason, at least in his mind.”
Fern nodded her agreement. “You can’t cast him out of your life easily. Why not give him a chance to prove himself? You loved him, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”More than anything in the world.“But aren’t there some things that are unforgivable, no matter how much you love someone?”
Rose leaned over and took Lily’s hand, then grasped Fern’s as well. “Of course there are. But if I hadn’t taken the risk and forgiven Fern…” She glanced at the sleeping baby in her sister’s arms. “I would have missed so much more.”
The smoking embers of her anger fizzled into vapor behind her breastbone, leaving behind something far more pernicious. The ache of losing him, of mourning the disappearance of her husband from her life, had hidden behind the blazing furnace of her fury. Now only embers of pain remained, aching ashes of dreams lost, fear of what she might still lose.
But before Lily could drift too deeply into her melancholia, Rose’s eyes narrowed. “What are youwearing?”
Lily looked down. “Riding clothes.”
“With a chemise?”
Oh, hell. Grumbling, she stood and shucked off her jacket, released her short stays—these were her sisters, after all—and tugged the chemise off. She replaced her jacket, flinching at the rub of the rough tweed against her bare skin, but buttoned it into place. “Better?”
“Much. Oh!” Rose scrambled in her pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. “Violet wasn’t feeling well and asked if Iwould pick up some of these from Fleming’s. If you’re planning to ride into town, would you mind getting them for her?”
