“Where are you going?” he asked breathlessly.
She walked past him without making eye contact to pull her saddle off a nearby post. “I need to run an errand in town.”
“I’ll come with you.”
She grunted, a low earthy sound that made his cock twitch, as she threw the saddle over Calpurnia’s back. “There’s no need. I can manage alone.”
He glanced at the groom who stood by awkwardly; the lad was clever enough not to interfere with Lily’s preparations, but he could help Philip now. “Ready a horse for me. Quickly, please.” The groom nodded, clearly pleased to have something to do, and hurried towards an adjacent stall.
When he looked back at his wife, her cheeks were flushed pink. “I said I don’t need you to come.”
He stepped closer, and her lips parted with an inaudible gasp. “If you go now, it will be nightfall before you return. It could be dangerous.”
Her brows furrowed, and he wanted to kiss the space between them, release any tension she carried. “I’ve ridden into Oxford more times than you can count. I’m perfectly capable of making the trip.”
He took a risk and captured her hand, her long fingers encased in a leather glove. “I don’t doubt your ability, but I can’t stand lettingyou out of my sight and not knowing if something has happened to you.”
“Imagine how I felt all those years.”
Her retort sliced through him, pierced his heart, and lodged in his spine.Let her fall in love with the man you are now.There was no sense in making her forget his absence or ignore about the damage he’d done. He could only prove he would be better this time, every time for the rest of their lives.
“I can’t imagine, Lily. I want you to tell me.”
Her sharp gaze softened, her full lips parting again as she searched his face, and he would have given anything to know what she was thinking. To understand what he’d done to the woman he loved so he could fix it, fixthem.
“Fine,” she finally said, turning to take Calpurnia’s reins. “If you’re going to ride with me, I won’t make it easy.”
The groom handed him the reins of a chestnut gelding. “Make what easy?” Philip asked.
She chuckled in a way that sent the hair on his neck prickling. “To the rail bridge, then?”
The Gasworks Rail Bridge marked the point where they crossed the Thames into Oxford proper, and a chuckle fell from his throat. “Are we racing?”
“A race would imply I have competition.” She swung herself into the saddle and peered down her nose at him. “Try to keep up.”
Chapter 11
Bythetimetheyreached the bridge, Lily’s heart thundered as loudly as the hoofbeats beneath her. Calpurnia had always been brilliant with slippery terrain, so she had no worries allowing the horse to open to a steady gallop, covering the snowy fields between Boar’s Hill and Oxford with little effort.
As the wind whipped loose strands of hair around her face and neck, Lily savored the bite of pain, the sting of the cold air on her bare skin. It centered her, grounded her, when everything in her world seemed to be toppling and breaking apart, restructuring itself in a pattern she couldn’t make sense of.
She still loved Philip, despite her best efforts to deny the sentiment. But could she forgive what he’d done?
An image of baby Emily curled on Fern’s lap had been racing in circles in her mind since she left the nursery, chased by the family dinners and games she only ever experienced when visiting with her sisters or parents.Theirfamilies,theirhomes. Her home was an empty, cold place, a sparkling estate staffed by remarkable people—the salary she paid them ensured it.
But it had never felt like home in the way Boar’s Hill did. She’d always thought this was because Oxfordshire was where she’d grown, surrounded by a boisterous and loving family, so she’d filled the estate—herestate—in Lancashire with things that would make her happy. A grand library, a prosperous stable where she kept and bred horses, the income allowing her to purchase anything she wanted, support any cause she desired.
But the difference wasn’twhatshe lacked, butwhom.
Calpurnia’s hooves clattered onto the bridge, and she whirled her mare around to see Philip closing in, slowing his ride as he approached with a wide smile.
Lord, how she’d missed that smile, how it transformed his stern expression into one of boyish charm.
“You’re a better horsewoman than I remembered.” He was breathless, and she felt a jolt of pride that she’d done that to him.
“I could beat you back then, too.”
He chuckled, bringing his horse alongside hers as they wound along the trails leading them into the city. “Do you remember the Thompkins boys?”
