Chapter 15
Shewaslikelyleavingbruises on his wrist as she dragged Philip from the parlor, but Lily couldn’t find it in herself to care.
No, that wasn’t true.
She found no joy in hurting her husband, even if he seemed determined to hurt her. Once she would have derived perverse pleasure from speaking ill of the man she had married. In her darker moments, she’d prayed he knew even a portion of the ache she experienced daily with his absence, though she’d never wished him actual harm.
But now, with Callum’s words ringing in her ears, her hands itched with the need to shake him until the screaming in her head stopped.
As soon as she’d pulled him into the hallway and closed the parlor door behind her, muffling her mother’s continued gushing about the flowers, she wheeled on the man she’d married. The man she was ready to—once again—commit to spending the rest of herlife with. “What did Callum mean? About the debts, the horses. What did he mean?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I was going to tell you—”
“Sotell me now,” she hissed. Damn him,damn himfor making her fall in love with him again. Damn her for believing he wouldn’t hurt her.
He carded his long fingers through his hair and blew out a breath. “Timothy told me about trying to help your father with his investments, selling him the land. But it wasn’t enough to cover the debts.”
Lily’s chest tightened, squeezed until her lungs threatened to push out her throat. “He didn’t… I thought…”
She trailed off when he shook his head.
“It wasn’t nearly enough. I contacted the creditors and funneled my own money in and made it look as though the investments were more lucrative than they were. Your father doesn’t know.”
She didn’t realize she was wobbling on her feet until he put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. “He doesn’t know,” she echoed weakly.
“And he won’t, unless you think I should tell him—”
“No.” Her breath vibrated in her chest. “He’s been humiliated enough already.” Asking the next question took the remainder of her strength. “And the horses. Tell me what you did, Philip.”
Her stables had been her refuge when he abandoned her, the only place she found purpose and solace, a success that was purely her own, something her husband couldn’t touch.
He dropped his chin, not meeting her eyes.Ashamed.“No one was going to buy a racehorse from a woman. And if someone was foolish enough to think your stables were of lesser quality because of your gender, he had no place owning one of your horses.”
Her stomach was coiling into tighter and tighter knots with every word he spoke. “Did you buy all my horses, too? Pass them out like candy to anyone who wanted one?”
“Christ, no.” He stepped towards her, extended a hand as if to touch her. She hadn’t decided whether she would grasp it or swat it away, but before she could decide, he drew it back.
Somehow, that distance hurt more than anything else.
“I wrote letters encouraging my friends in London to give you a chance, to see how you’d turned the lackluster stables at Whitby into something magical. Then you started winning, and I didn’t have to do anything.”
“You didn’t have to do anything.” The parroted phrase was acidic on her tongue. “Do you know who you forgot about when you were writing those letters to all your friends?” She chuckled darkly when he shook his head. “Me. Your wife. The person breeding and training those horses. The person standing by my family’s side, holding things together when everything was falling apart.” She paced closer and felt a sick satisfaction in how his eyes widened. “You wanted everyone to know your involvement, but not me. You took pains to avoid communicating with me foryears.”
He shook his head, his chest rising and falling as rapidly as hers. “That’s not true.”
Her stomach lurched, and instead of screaming or strangling him, she stormed past, tears blurring her vision as she relied on years of navigating the hallways of Boar’s Hill to return to her bedchamber.
Philip was close on her heels. “Where are you going?”
“To pack your bag.”
She felt his sharp intake of breath behind her and hurried her steps, scaling the staircase and turning down the corridor.
“Lily, please listen to me—”
She whirled to face him. “I’ve listened for three days. I promised you three days, and I kept my promise. Now you have to keep yours. You’re leaving.”
His nostrils flared as he flung his arms out wide. “I don’t know what else you want from me, Lily. I made a horrible, unforgivable mistake leaving you, but I didn’t have another option. I wanted to protect you—”
