“No!” I shout, and he cracks a smile. “Not even a little. I just don’t want people getting excited, or hurt, or… anything.”
“You’re a good friend, sunshine.”
“So are you, stud.”
We eat our sandwiches in silence, the bubble we’ve been hiding in sufficiently popped. I take my time, gathering my things and folding his clothes back up on his bed, except for the hoodie. I’m stealing that for sure. My little gremlin brain won’tlet me leave without my souvenir. I keep it on, hiding it under my jacket as I bundle up, pulling up my rideshare app and ordering a car.
I answer a text from Hazel, letting her know that I’m safe and heading home, and send one to Beck to let him know I’m available to help him open tomorrow and get the shop up and running again. The joy I was steeped in here slowly drains from my system as I make my way to the front door.
James is dozing on the couch as I look back one last time. I know I should wake him, tell him I’m going.
But then he’ll kiss me. And I’ll never leave.
I barely want to leave now. I shouldn’t make it harder on either of us. I scrawl a quick note on an envelope by the front door before I sneak out, carefully closing it behind me until I hear thesnickof the automatic lock.
This has been the most wonderful few days of my life, but now it’s time to go back to the real world.
Chapter 12
Stella
Ithought I would be more excited to be home. I crack the door open on its stiff hinges and shove my way inside. The place is frigid. I quickly check the thermostat. I guess I had set it too low before I left so I crank it. Theclunkof it turning on sounds through the apartment and I go to grab my big socks.
I turn off the big lights, leaving only my bedside lamp on and settle into my bed as heat blasts dust out of the vents when it shudders to life. I wrap myself in a fuzzy blanket and start up my laptop. It’s already way past late and all I want is to pass out to some binge-worthy show and try not to dream about the amazing guy I just snuck out on.
Ironically, Bridgerton is the first suggested title when I log in, and without thinking I put on the next episode we were on. It runs for a while, and I’m zoned out when my phone screen flashes. My lock screen has been set to a picture of the winter wonderland view from James’ living room window, making my chest ache a little. Especially when I see who’s texted.
Stud
A note, sunshine? Really?
Stella
it seemed easier.
Stud
for who?
Stella
both of us.
Stella
I don’t want to miss you.
Stud
but you do?
I let it sit there for a moment. Honesty has never been difficult for me, but I don’t want to foster something that has no chance of survival. I don’t plan on sticking around long and I don’t want to hurt him when I inevitably leave. I’ve never sought a relationship, and if I do now, it could derail everything I’ve worked for.
I’m about to answer when another text comes in.
Stud
you don’t have to say it. You forget that I know you, sunshine.
