“Then hurt me, Stella.” I don’t care that she’s right. I don’t care that this has an expiration date. I call her sunshine for a reason. She is a bright spot on a really shitty day. She makes me laugh,being around her makes me remember that my life isn’t ending, like there might be more to it if I look hard enough.
She will absolutely hurt me, and I will take every ache and pain and piece of searing agony that she deigns to bestow upon me happily.
“It might not be inevitable, but I’m willing to take the risk,” I say, trying to soothe her. Her face scrunches with anxiety. I can see her brain working overtime.
“It is though! Even if everything works out, people still die. People get divorced, people cheat. Why would I sign up for that?”
“So, you’re saying you’ll never be in a relationship?”
“No, it’s more like… pre-emptive damage control. It’s not like I’m going to find Mr. Right when I’m this young, so committing to anything is just inviting further distress into my life. I’m going to travel, explore, live my life, and when I’m done if that’s something I want I’ll go after it then.”
“Why would you want to live your whole life before you meet the person you want to share it with?”
“Nothing gets tainted.” All joking leaves my body. There are places I still don’t go. Places that meant something to me that are forever tangled up in horrible, scarring memories. Moments where I was so low I couldn’t see a way out, and the people around me only made it worse. I get not wanting to re-enter those places, to open those old wounds.
“Everything has an expiration date,” she says, resigned. I stroke her sides, rubbing her tense muscles as I try to process her logic. It’s not unreasonable if you really think about it.
“I guess.” My voice is still skeptical. She’s offering me what I want. I know I can’t have her forever, and she only wants me for now…
“We could set an end date?” she whispers. My fingers tighten, bringing her closer to me.
“An end date?”
“Yeah. I’m planning to leave soon, you have to go start working for your dad. That can be our end date. We can have rules. No one has to know. No one has to get hurt?” She sounds unsure, almost as though she doesn’t believe what she’s saying herself. To me, though, this is the best solution I can think of. I get her with a chance of never hurting her. When I take over the company, when the weight of it eventually ruins me, I won’t be taking her down with me.
“Does that mean I’ll get to eat your delicious pussy again?” I move closer to her, crowding her space, rolling her underneath me, pinning her in place for me. I will take anything she gives me with gratitude.
“Y-yes,” She manages to get out. Tremors rattle through her bones.
“What are your rules then?” I ask in a rough voice, leaning in to whisper in her ear.
“We’re not dating, so no dates.”
“Got it.” I drag my nose up the side of her neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps.
“Umm, no PDA, no sleepovers. Last night doesn’t count. Being honest with each other.”
“Mmmhmm.” I strategically place sucking kisses around her collarbone.
“Exclusivity.” I pull away to look at her. “We may not be dating, but I don’t want to take any health risks or get jealous or anything.”
“You’d get jealous over me, sunshine?” I ask, the corners of my lips twitching up.
“Yes,” she glowers at me. “I’m an only child. Not big on the whole sharing thing.”
I laugh. “Consider my dick yours, sunshine.” I reach down to pull her panties aside.
Fuck, she’s already soaked for me.
I ease a finger in slowly, teasing her but not giving her enough to work her up too much. I want her on the edge. “Any more rules, sweetheart?” She shakes her head emphatically. That’s all the permission I need to slide down the bed and sit right in my favourite spot for the next hour, bringing her to the brink over and over again.
I will ensure that this is a decision she never regrets.
Chapter 20
James
It only takes three days before I can no longer resist her siren call. When we agreed to keep things casual and set an end date, we agreed to try not to overwhelm each other or grow too attached. Her words.
