I can’t wrap my head around how flustered this all makes me. I thought I could be a cool customer about all this. Apparently, homecooked meals and flowers are going to be my downfall.
I try to ignore their bustling, eventually picking up the book James lent me last week. He said it’s one of his favourites. I can see why. It’s full of adventure and fantasy, love and betrayal, magic and intrigue. Underneath its unassuming cover it holds an entire world that you would never expect.
Kind of like him.
He seems so surly, quiet, intimidating, maybe even scary on the outside. Once you get to know him, though, you realize that’s not who he is at all. He’s kind and protective, he looks out for his little sister, her friends. I’ve seen him help people he doesn’t even know when he thinks no one is looking. He’s funny and freaking smart. I would never tell him this, but I can see why his dad wants him to run his company, he’s more than capable of running it successfully.
He's not at all what I expected when I first saw him. I saw him as a hot, potential hookup, yet somehow, since I’ve known him, he has surprised me at every turn. Even though we agreed to just friends with benefits, no attachments, he’s slowly becoming one of my best friends.
When Maria is satisfied that the food will give us nutrients and not food poisoning, she lets herself out. It was nice of her to help out like this, even if it was unexpected. It makes sense though. Considering the way she’s taken over control of the kitchen atBooze & Brews. She’s a force to be reckoned with.
And insistent on being in everyone’s business…
James sits on the couch next to me with his own book, looking exactly as he does every day at the café. Blank expression, intense focus, the only difference is when he puts his arm on the back of the couch around me, almost holding me, but not quite.
He says he understands what we are, despite his actions and what they say. I decide that I’m not going to question it, I’m going to believe him and let myself enjoy this amount of affection while I can.
Chapter 31
James
Imay have overdone it with the flowers. When we agreed to be friends with benefits, the rules were simple. No dates, no PDA, no sleepovers, exclusivity, and an end date, which we haven’t actually set yet. It’s more of an ambiguous, looming thing that neither of us have actually addressed. There was nothing in the rules about buying flowers or making her food or lending her my favourite fantasy novel to read. Those are things friends would do for each other, right?
Stella doesn’t seem to be of that opinion. Even though she’s trying to relax, I saw the way the colour drained from her face a little bit, the way she holds tension in her shoulders now.
By the time we’ve eaten, the air in the room hasn’t changed. She’s a little more aloof, a little more distant.
Yeah, that won’t do.
She appreciates that I cut the shit when we talk, that I’m honest. Well, I’m not about to stop being that way now.
“Okay, why are you being weird?” I ask as we’re putting away our dishes.
“I’m not being weird, James,” she says, pointedly not looking at me.
“Bullshit,” I call back, crowding her against the sink.
“Lay off it,” she says, pushing her hand against my chest until I step away.
“Oh no you don’t,” I say, winding my arm around her waist and pulling her further into the apartment when she makes her way towards the door.
“Seriously? Let me go, James.”
“Nope. Not until you tell me what’s going on.” She shoots me a withering look. I plunk her down in the living room and cross my arms, meeting her glare. “You promised me honesty, Stella. Your rules, not mine.”
“That’s not one of my rules,” she pouts. I stare at her, stone-faced. If she can make me talk, I can do the same to her. “Fine! You made it weird.” She looks at me, eyes blazing in defiance, daring me to contradict her.
“Okay, I’m sorry. What exactly was it?” She looks shocked at my admission. I know what’s bothering her, but I need her to tell me. I need her to face it.
“You’re being too nice! You bought me flowers and you cook for me, you never kick me out, you give me passive affection, I don’t know what to do with that!”
“You want me to be meaner to you?” I’m sort of teasing her, sort of confused as to where her head’s at.
“I’ve never had a boyfriend, it’s hard to tell what things are supposed to feel like.”
My sweet girl.
“Would you rather I fuck you the second you walk in the door?” I ask, loving how her expression turns indignant. “Do you want me to tell you to get the hell out while my cum is still drying on your legs?” Her breath hitches. “If you want, I cantreat you like a fuck toy, sunshine, all you have to do is ask.” I grin wickedly as her expression turns wary.
