This is nice, I thought, feeling a warmth spread throughout me. I'll just nap for an hour or two and then get up.
Maybe this could be enough.
***
A few hours turned into the entire night.
It was the best sleep I'd had in years, and when I woke up, the early morning sunlight was filtering in through the curtains. I was warm, comfortable, and still in Noah's arms.
His eyes were closed, his breathing even, and I took the chance to admire him while he slept.
There was something incredibly vulnerable about him. Even though he had been the one taking care of me the night before, now he looked like the one in need of a little care. His brow was relaxed, and the faint worry lines across his forehead had disappeared. There was a slight scruff across his cheeks and jaw, and the beginnings of stubble on his chin.
Despite the weight of the world on his shoulders, Noah still looked....kind. Trustworthy.
He was handsome and caring, and I was his mate.
That last word gave me pause, and let worry start to creep in. We'd gone so far last night, and it would be effortless to just fall into the role of Noah's mate in more than just name. It would be nice to be adored by him, in public and private, and I considered just letting it happen for a long moment.
But...I couldn't let sex change everything, as tempting as it was. So what if he made me feel amazing and see stars? He'd still kidnapped me. Falling for him after that should have been impossible, but our mating bond changed things. It made me vulnerable to him. I was predisposed to desire him above all others, and to forgive him time and time again.
When I looked inside myself and reached for our bond, it was stronger than ever, glowing and solid, and it spooked me. It was so much bigger than it had been before my heat. The more I let him in, the more we were connected.
Worry settled cold in my belly, and I slowly untangled my limbs from him, not wanting to wake him. I didn't want to answer any questions from him, or have him charm me into staying in bed with him. Noah was like a drug to me, and I was slowly becoming aware of just how easily addicted to him I was.
Moving as carefully as I could, I finally slid out of bed and broke the connection that we'd kept since the night before. I wanted terribly to climb back under the covers with him, and that worried me even more.
With that worry gnawing at my gut, I slipped out of the room, grabbed my robe and headed for the kitchen. I was in deep trouble with Noah, and the best thing I could do was make sure I didn't spend any more time alone with him.
Even if it hurts to admit.
Chapter 17 - Noah
The bed was cold and empty when I woke up, and I was immediately annoyed. Where was my mate?
When I felt the chilled, rumpled blankets on her side of the bed, it was obvious she'd been gone for hours. I'd hoped to wake up to find her there, where I could pull her close and show her again just how much she meant to me, and just how well our bodies fit together.
Determined to find her, I pushed myself up, but my head started to pound at the movement. I pushed my palms into my temples and groaned, pain flooding me like a dam had broken somewhere in my skull.
But it wasn't just pain that poured over me. It was also memories. The pieces I had been missing—why I was in Brokenclaw territory, and who I had been hunting. The rogue wolves, the brutal attack...and Dominic.
Swallowing hard, I pushed myself up against the headboard and tried to ride it all out. It was like the memories were forcing their way into my gray matter, and it was agony, but I needed to have them back if I was ever going to make sense of what happened.
The return of those lost hours and the identity of the man that I had been trying to find were connected to Sage. There was no other explanation. I remembered the flash of magic as she came that last time as I knotted her, and the way it had engulfed both of us, making my skin tingle. I hadn't remembered everything then, but apparently I needed the sleep to complete the healing, which was why it was all hitting me at once.
God, I'd lost so fucking much. If it wasn't for Sage, would these parts of my memory ever have been recovered?
Dominic's name rose out of the fog of the past few weeks, and remembering him felt like ripping open an old wound. I could see him easily, with dark hair and a sharp smile, a shadow of insecurity in the back of his eyes that never really left. Dominic had joined the pack not long after Sage had run away, and the wild new wolf, close to my age and looking for connection, had been the distraction I needed after rejecting my mate. The two of us had become fast friends, Dominic's recklessness balancing out how serious I had to be as the future Alpha.
We'd hunted together, fought side by side, laughed and drank late into the night, and formed a friendship strong enough that I'd considered him the closest thing to a brother. It had been an easy choice to make him one of my personal guard when the time came, and for a long time, we'd been almost inseparable.
Until everything fell apart.
When my father had been gravely injured fighting another Alpha, it had been up in the air whether he would even survive or not, and I had been rushed into the Alpha position so our pack wouldn't be vulnerable and leaderless for too long. I'd thought over what I would want my Council and my personal guards to look like, but I'd never expected to have to take the helm on such short notice.
As chaotic as everything was, I'd made one decision years in advance—my Beta. I knew everyone had expected me to choose Dominic, who had been my right hand for years, but I was determined to run the pack differently than my father did.
My father would have preferred hot-headed, always ready to fight Dominic, but I knew it would be a step in the wrong direction, no matter how close a friend he was. So instead, Ichose another one of my peers, the calmer, more introspective Cal, as my Beta.
