Page 25 of The Journey Home


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Yuck. There’s a reason I don’t drink scotch.

Andre called out to me over his shoulder. “Bella, I’m taking a shower. Would you like to join me?”

My stomach turned. For the first time since meeting Andre, I didn’t want to be near him. I didn’t want him to even touch me.

“I have to take care of a few things,” I said. “I’ll meet you in the bedroom in a few minutes.”

He mumbled something and took off toward the master bedroom. I sat down at my computer and found an email from my boss. Silently, I prayed that she wasn’t sending me out of town again.

The subject line was, “Call me. ASAP.”

Dear Maddison,

I need to speak with you. It’s urgent.

Carol.

I stared at the short email. “She’s sending me out to town again. Fuck.”

I stood and spun around to see Andre standing there. He smiled, shaking his head. “You love him don’t you?”

Swallowing hard I asked, “I beg your pardon?”

He laughed as he shook his head. “I see the way you look at him, Bella. I long for you to look at me that way. Your eyes light up in his presence. They dance with a desire I’ve never been blessed to see.”

I sat down as he walked into my office and sat on the sofa. “I’ve tried everything I could think of to push him from your heart, Bella. Everything. I even bribed your boss to send you to Seattle and Milan.”

I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. “What?” I whispered.

He looked away. “You were pushing me away after little Lily was born. I wasn’t going to be bested. I thought once we were back in Italy, I would be able to show you everything you need. It appears I underestimated your love for Cale. I saw it this evening. I saw what my interfering did to you.”

Everything hit me at once. What I wanted in this life was the one thing I’d been trying to ignore. I took in a deep breath and stood up. “I’m glad you told me this. It makes my decision to leave my job all that much easier.”

Now he was stunned. “You’re leaving your job? Maddison, you love your job.”

I shook my head. “No. I love something far more important than my job.”

His body jerked back as if he’d been struck. He nodded and picked up his cell phone and wallet. “This is what is in your heart, Maddison?” he asked.

I nodded. “He’s been in my heart since the moment I met him.”

Andre placed his hands on my shoulders. He leaned down and gently kissed me on my right cheek and then my left. When he went to kiss my lips I turned slightly away and whispered, “I can’t.”

“I hope you find your happiness, Bella. You deserve it.”

With that, he walked out my front door, gently closing it behind him. I let out the breath I’d been holding and walked into my bedroom. I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into a hot shower.

After getting dressed in Victoria’s Secret sweat pants, a University of Arkansas T-shirt, and a pair of flip-flops I looked at myself in the mirror. I smiled.

This is me. This is the girl who has been missing for the last three years.

I TOOK A deep breath and knocked on his door. I prayed that Cassidy was not there still. If they were dating, I was about to make a fool out of myself. The door opened and I moaned ever so slightly.

He looked like a god. A Greek god. No, better.

My eyes fell first on his bare chest. Then I nearly swooned at the sight of his perfect abs and that damn V that dipped into the linen pants that hung just barely on his hips.

I told myself not to look down. But I couldn’t help myself. His bare feet were so damn sexy. Finally, I looked him in the eye. “Um, are you alone?” I asked.

His eyes pierced mine as I held my breath and waited for his answer.

“No.”

I closed my eyes. My heart broke all over again as I nodded. I was the only one to blame for this. I was the one who’d pushed him away. “I see. I’ll just talk to you tomorrow, then.”

“Maddie, wait. I’m not alone because Lily is here.”

That bastard. I wanted to turn around and start screaming at him. He did that on purpose. Stupid jerk. I knew I deserved it, showing up here earlier with Andre. I counted to ten, spun around and pushed past him. I looked around. The house was a bit of a mess. Not dirty, just messy. Cale was terrible about putting things away. I’d learned so much about him when I’d lived with him for two weeks.

“I have a proposition for you,” I said as I sat down on the sofa. I peeked up at him and watched as he sauntered across the room, looking all hot. I could hardly stand it.

He leaned against the entrance to the hallway. “Sounds interesting.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “It isn’t anything sexual, so stop looking at me like that.”

He smiled that damn crooked smile of his. The same smile that I’d seen across the room three years ago. The one that’s haunted my dreams ever since.

“I’m listening.”

I sucked in a breath, sat up taller, and blurted out, “I need a job.”

His smile vanished. “Wait. What?”

Damn it. I didn’t want to sound like I was begging. “I quit my job just now. I need a new one.”

He pushed off the wall and looked at me, his mouth hanging open in that oh-so-sexy way. How I wanted his lips on my body. I could almost feel the heat as I imagined him kissing my inner thigh and…

I shook my head. “Ugh. Will you please put a shirt on?”

He looked down and then looked back at me with a smirk. “Why?”

I glared at him. “It’s distracting.”

He smiled bigger. Oh he was enjoying this. “Why is it distracting, Maddie?”

I slapped my hands down on my legs and jumped up. “Fine. Have it your way. Stand there in nothing but a pair of pants, you won’t distract me.”

He raised his eyebrows. Then he stared back at me. I watched as his stomach muscles flexed with each little movement he made. I wanted to run my tongue along his abs. I wanted to remember what being wrapped in his arms again felt like. I wanted…to stop acting like a silly teenager.

“If you’re not distracted, why are you not talking?”

I gave him a dirty look. “I love Lily, and when I saw Cassidy with her today, something happened. I’m not really sure what it was, but it made my heart hurt like never before. I’m tired of being gone. So, I’d like to take over as Lily’s nanny. No one k

nows her like I do. Well, I mean besides you. I was a huge part of her life and I hate that I missed the last month. I don’t want to miss anything. I can…um…I can move in and...um…well…take care of her while you work. I’ll take care of the meals, your laundry, grocery shopping, and any other things you might need or that the nanny would do.” I paused. “So, do you accept my proposition?”

I stood firmly in my spot as I tried to calm my pounding heart and keep my hands from shaking. Cale was trying to not be affected by the fact that I’d basically just told him I wanted to help raise his daughter…and move in with him.

He let out a breath and looked around as if he was trying to think. “Let me see if I have your proposition right. You no longer have a job.”

I nodded my head. “Correct. I’m…jobless.”

“Uh huh. You want to move in here. And be Lily’s nanny.”

I began to chew on my lip. “I don’t want to be her Aunt Maddie, Cale. I want to be more.”

“More?”

Tears burned my eyes and I blinked to hold them back. “Yes,” I said, my voice cracking.

Cale opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat. “Like, a mother figure?”

I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I whispered, “Yes.”

He took a step toward me. “If you move in, what happens when you want to have your boyfriend over? Or I want to bring a date home?”

A small sob escaped my mouth, but it had nothing to do with Lily. It had more to do with the idea of Cale talking about dating. Him moving on.

I swallowed and wiped my tears away. “I don’t have a boyfriend. We broke up.”

Cale’s eyes lit up as he attempted to hide a smile. “Why did you break up?”

I began wringing my hands. Don’t push your feelings away, Maddie. Let go of the control. Monica’s words popped into my head.

“Sometimes, I think, we have to learn to let go of the control we think we need in order to find what fate has in store for us.”

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