“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Yeah, I just…I can’t imagine you with Karen.”
He stares out at the forest, and something like regret slides over his face.
“I was in a dark place when I met your sister. I was in the military for twelve years.”
I’m not surprised by his admission. He gives off the aura of a military man, strong and capable and organized.
“Sometimes when I came back, all I wanted was to forget where I’d been. Karen helped me forget.”
“Did you love her?” I hope he doesn’t hear the tightness in my voice.
He shakes his head. “Love didn’t come into it.” He runs a hand over his hair. “That was over two years ago. I’ve changed since then.”
He gives me a look that’s tinged with regret, and I remember the connection we had yesterday, what this might have been if the circumstances were different.
“I’m sorry about your sister,” he says gently.
“Thanks.” I sigh, and sadness washes over me like it does when I think about Karen. We weren’t close the last few years, and I regret that more than anything.
“So, you wanted to make sure I wasn’t some sketchy low life who’d hooked up with your sister?”
Grant smiles, and I’m relieved that his good humor is back.
“Yeah, that’s about right.”
“And am I?”
He’s far from what I expected. He’s got a business and an MC club that’s like extended family, a cabin in the woods, and beautiful mountain trails on his doorstep. Bailey will have a good life here, and the realization hurts my heart. She’s better off here than with me.
“So why now? Where were you when Karen had the accident and Bailey needed family?”
It’s the question I’ve been dreading, and I’m still not sure how to answer it. I run my sweaty palm along my shorts and take a deep breath.
“I was sick.” It’s kind of the truth. “I was in a clinic, and I wasn’t deemed well enough to be Bailey’s guardian.”
He peers at me for a long time.
“Mental health issues can do that,” he says quietly. “I’ve seen it with some of the men who I served with.”
It’s not a big leap for him to go there, and I’m about to correct him. It wasn’t a mental health issue, not in the traditional sense, although my therapist made me see that my childhood trauma had something to do with it.
Grant rests a hand on my leg. It’s supposed to be comforting, but the heat causes my whole body to come alive.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, April.”
I stare at him and I should correct his assumption, but the look of empathy in his eyes and the hand on my leg has my mouth staying firmly shut.
He thinks I was in a mental health clinic, and he’s okay with that. There’s a chance we can make this work, that I could get visiting rights with Bailey.
But it’s not the truth.
I need to be completely honest with Grant if I want him to trust me with his daughter, let alone try to establish the connection we had yesterday.
I open my mouth to speak, to tell him the rest of my terrible truth, when there’s a wail from the back seat.
Bailey’s awake, and she’s not happy about it.
